Recap: Game of Thrones Season 3, Episode 4 [A Bro’s Thoughts]

In previous interviews, Game of Thrones show runners David Benioff & D.B. Weiss have called ‘And Now His Watch Is Ended’ as one of the ‘big ones’ in terms of season arc and a turning point for the series. Luckily, they weren’t just blowing smoke. This episode of GOT has had some big events leading to what can only be an amazing midway point next week. Practically every character (with the exception of Robb Stark) had something happen that will definitely effect them immediately, not just whenever.

In Which Jamie Lannister Needs A Hug

So, Jamie lost his hand last week. That blows. But you know what blows even more? When the dudes who cut off your hand make you wear that hand as a necklace. A) That has to smell. B) It’s humiliating. C) Looking at your hand decay away every day has to take a mental toll. And well, it seems like Jamie is just giving up on life. He’s not eating, he’s falling off of horses, and even in his trademark whims of defiance, he just looks tired and decrepit and unmotivated. Brienne of Tarth did chip away as his humanity a little bit, but only time can tell how long that case study will take. Gotta give her some props for trying though.

In Which Lord Varys Is Making His Presence Known

At first, you think any conversation with Tyrion Lannister will end up in some kind of quip that will be incredible and hysterical, but instead, Tyrion leaned his allegiances towards Lord Varys, which was not only surprising given how little he’s been used this season, but also showed a bit of humility on Tyrion’s part that we never really thought possible. The idea that Lord Varys has some kind of incredible warlock kept in a box for use whenever he feels like it, and more importantly, whenever Tyrion feels like it is a secret that come the end of the season will be sure to bite someone where the sun don’t shine.

To add on top of that, Lord Varys and Olenna Redwyne practically deciding how important Sansa Stark is to the entire kingdom was not only the most entertaining conversation of Game of Thrones this season, but maybe the most important. Sansa’s been pretty much dead in the water since the end of season two when Joffery decided to shack up with Margaery Tyrell. House Tyrell seems to be the only group of people who still know what kind of clout/repsect being a Stark brings, and for Lord Varys to make sure Sansa gets the hell away from Littlefinger WHILE conspiring with a Tyrell can only spell bad news for the Lannisters. (Watch this segue, y’all.)

In Which Cersei Lannister Has Really Been Slacking HBIC Mode Lately

Not once. But twice. Hopefully next week it won’t be third times a charm where Cersei gets owned by somebody. It hurts me knowing how badass Cersei’s been for the last two seasons when orchestrating the Lannister takeover of King’s Landing, only for the Tyrells to sweep her own son from under her, making sure that Joffery becomes the human king everybody wants instead of the insane dictator that Cersei is pushing him towards. I really dig Margaery because of this power that she seems to have over Joffery, but we’ll get to that next. Tywin, her own dad, going off on her though was a little much. I get that you’re the Hand of the King and that you’re practically running the show, but that doesn’t mean you need to poop all over Cersei’s love for Jamie. I mean you’re their dad, you kinda halfway have to know what’s going on. So accept it, and respect the fact that at least Cersei respects you enough to talk to you, because anyone else would have either been killed or double-crossed, am I right?

In Which Margaery Tyrell + Sansa Stark = BFFs Is NO BUENO

Okay, I respect Margaery Tyrell for wanting good things to happen in King’s Landing, but it just seems to be working out a little too well for her, right? I mean, of all people, you think you’ve got Joffery wrapped around your finger? I mean, all it’s going to take is one bad bedroom night when Joffery turns into ‘little c*nt BDSM mode’ and all bets are off. Then Sansa’s pretty much dead. The Tyrells are going to be run out of Westeros and the Lannisters will be back on top and ready to conquer all with only mama’s boy Robb Stark standing in their way? Come on. I’m waiting for Margaery’s spirit to be broken by Joffery and Sansa to pay the price, is that bad?

In Which The Night’s Watch Is Dead. Like Legit. Dead.

Who saw that one coming?!? (I read the books, so I did.) But pretty crazy, right? Shoutout to the dude to actually started the fight, you might recognize him as one of Bane’s henchmen from The Dark Knight Rises, but really his name is Burn Gorman and he is the BOSS in a Doctor Who spinoff series called Torchwood. It’s on Netflix. Check it out. As much as I didn’t really care about the Night’s Watch recently, to see them all go into murderfest mode because they ain’t eating really seemed out of character for the men who take The Black, you know? Big ups to Samwell for getting his slam piece Gilly out of there. I mean, sure, she just had a kid and you’ve DEFINITELY got some baby momma drama on your hands since, well, her dad is the reason your whole brotherhood is dead, but you can deal with that when the time comes, right?

In Which Theon Greyjoy Get Punk’d

LOL. Seriously. LOL. That’s all I could think of. What a chump. Theon always thinks someone cares about him. But he’s such a douche, so NO ONE DOES. HA. While I’m not really looking forward to more of his torture sequences (because they’re brutal and awful), I am looking forward to what happens AFTER he is tortured, so that’s cool.

In Which Bran Stark Falls From A Tree In A Dream

No, really. That’s it.

In Which Arya Stark Is Probably Gonna Get Someone Killed

Least we forget, but Sandor Clegane is pretty much the most badass of badassery when it comes to Game of Thrones. I mean he’s pretty much responsible for most murderfests across seasons one and two. So for Sansa Stark to speak up during his ‘trial’ with the Brotherhood Without Banners, and for someone to challenge him to trial by combat, Lord of Light behind them or not, pretty much promises someone’s death at the hand of The Hound. So that should be cool for next week. But, come on, Arya, I know you’re young, but you gotta learn to keep quiet.

In Which Daenerys Targaryen Takes Over A City

In arguably the most Game of Thrones-esque moment in Game of Thrones so far, Dany Stormborn took over Astapor in incredible fashion. She burned some dude alive, stole his army, freed them, totally let him know that she knew how degrading he was this whole time, and proceeded to MARCH OUT OF THE CITY TO TAKE OVER ANOTHER ONE. So cool. So badass. So awesome. It just goes to show that Dany is ready to become queen of Westeros, and that the Lannisters better watch out once her dragons grow fully, because they’re gonna get ROCKED.

Overall, we’re one episode away from the midway point of Season 3 of Game of Thrones and the stakes were officially raised this episode. The Lannisters are falling out of grace, Dany’s got an army, the Starks are slowly getting it together, The Night Watch are dead, and we didn’t even get to see Jon Snow or Robb Stark this episode. It seems like after a slow start, this week and last week is the pace we should become adjusted to for the rest of the season, and I love it. Let me know what you think either in the comments or on Twitter, and check out the preview for next week’s episode below.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SoemaxLkgRQ

Birchbox TV is Here To Help [Sundays Are For Procrastinating]
Birchbox TV is Here To Help [Sundays Are For Procrastinating]
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