Recap: Game of Thrones Season 3, Episode 9 [A Bro’s Thoughts]

It finally happened. Like every season before it, Game of Thrones threw such a huge wrench into everything we thought could happen in the penultimate¬†episode. A game changing, jaw-dropping, just utterly insane plot twist that even if you’ve read the books and knew it was coming, you couldn’t really mentally prepare for what you were about to see. It was incredible. Even though there were absolutely no Lannisters or King’s Landing story lines; “The Rains of Castamere” was easily the best episode of the season so far.

In Which The Stark Family Never Learns How Not To Get Bit In The Ass

The Red Wedding. In A Song of Ice & Fire lure, it is probably the most significant moment in the entire series. It alters every storyline, it changes the entire world of Westeros, and you never see it coming. The murder of Robb Stark’s entire campaign to be King by Walder Frey in a single night is shocking and brutal. While the motivations behind this event are not revealed besides a nice ‘The Lannisters send their regards” quote from Ser Roose Bolton as he stabs Robb Stark in the chest, we really don’t know who planned this, why they planned it, and how they planned it. Could this be Jamie’s big comeback as a Lannister? Was it Tywin? Was is Cersei? Did Tyrion just orchestrate the murder of his new bride’s family?

In all honesty, it’s the imagery during The Red Wedding that was so strong, so violent, so flabbergasting; that to find any kind of reason behind it at this point would have definitely softened the shock, which you know HBO did NOT want to happen. To see Robb’s Queen Talisa get stabbed repeatedly in her pregnant stomach, for the episode to end with Catelyn Stark’s throat being slit, and even watching Arya Stark witness her brother’s dire wolf get murdered is heart-wrenching stuff.

Arya’s quest to see her family was literally separated by minutes. If she hadn’t distracted The Hound earlier in their journey by just letting him kill the wagon’s owner, then maybe she would have gotten to see her mother or brother again before they died. Maybe she wouldn’t be scarred for life now. However, maybe she would be dead as well. The ferocity and confidence that she showed against The Hound for the entire episode will definitely be tested, since she is under the impression that she is the only Stark left alive.

In the meantime, Robb’s murder really puts into question the entire motivations of the rest of the Houses. While we don’t know for sure which Lannister is involved with The Red Wedding, it’s not out of reason that this is just the first step for the royal family to making sure that they always pay back their debts. Their foothold as the #1 family in Westeros has never been stronger. They were not featured at all in this episode, so we’re going to have to wait until next week for the aftermath from King’s Landing’s perspective.

In Which The Stark Family Never Know How To Handle A Proper Breakup

In the other major storyline that took up the majority of the episode, Jon Snow & Bran Stark were literally maybe 10 feet away from each other and somehow didn’t, like, wave to each other through a window or something. While Bran and his homies took shelter in a lighthouse to protect themselves from a thunderstorm; Jon Snow & his homies were attempting to murder one old dude with a bunch of horses, before Jon Snow was like ‘CROWS BEFORE HOES’ and murdered all the Men Beyond The Wall (with the help of Bran’s direwolf). It was kind of a sad subplot on how close they were together, but each had enough individual drama that it almost didn’t matter.

Bran Stark somehow tapped into some crazy power where he can take over people’s minds. Yeah. Let that settle in for a little bit. In an act of desperation to hide themselves from The Men Beyond The Wall’s horse murderfest, Bran made Hordor shut up by taking over his head and making him go to sleep. He then took over the mind of a dire wolf, and a falcon, because, you know, that was necessary while Jon Snow was murdering a bunch of people. (That’s the next paragraph.) Anyway, in the next sequence (and against Osha’s wishes), Bran makes the decision to go with the Reeds beyond the Wall to figure out what the hell is actually going on with these powers, and makes his little brother Rickon Stark go with Osha to safety to make sure there will be one true heir of Winterfell. (Also, shoutout to Rickon for saving the only two lines he’s had for the entire season of be the most ‘aww’ worthy lines of the entire series.) It was a messy split, but that’s what Bran had to do.

Speaking of messy splits, shoutout to Jon Snow for straight up ditching Ygritte. He didn’t even make half an effort for the girl. She’s definitely ready to cut off his D now instead of wanting it. Jon Snow did her so dirty that frankly, all you really need to know is that Jon Snow killed all those dudes who were doubting his loyalty to the Men Beyond The Wall, hopped on a horse, then ditched Ygritte. It was glorious. It was probably the best breakup in the history of Westeros, strictly for Ygritte’s face.

In Which Daenerys Targaryen Took Over a City in the Least-Climatic Way Possible

So Dany felt like her new dude-friend that she’s probably going to bone, Daario needed to prove his worth. It’s a fair test for the future Queen of the World, right? So she sends Ser Jorah and her Unsullied captain Gray Worm into the city of Yunkai to murder some dudes and get the slave army on her side. After a super fierce battle, they’re surrounded, and you as the view assume another awesome battle is about to take place. But instead, everything cuts away then they come back to Dany and are like ‘the city’s yours, gurl.’ It was so lame. I was kinda pissed, but after Jon Snow’s sequence and The Red Wedding, I guess HBO only wanted so much blood in one episode. So yeah. Let’s hope her sequence in the finale is WAY better.

Anyway, like I said, there was no King’s Landing this episode, it was very Stark-centric. Shoutout to Samwell and Gilly for making a quick appearance! With the post-Red Wedding fall out plus everything Lannister saved up for the finale, I’m expecting something maybe not as epic as this episode, but easily just as shocking, you know? After a couple of lulls, season three of GOT has been amazing the last month. Check out the preview for the finale below, and let me know what you thought of the Red Wedding on Twitter or in the comments.

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