On the Alternate Universe That is The Bachelorette Mansion [Recap]

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A mansion filled with 25 men and one lady, set under the pretense of finding love, isn’t exactly where you’d expect to find complete realism. But a few things this week made me note seriously blurred lines between reality and the fantasy in this Bachelorette Mansion.

First and foremost, this mansion apparently is an alternate universe in which domestic violence charges and restraining orders are endearing. Brad’s conversation with Des was…a little alarming. It basically went like this… Brad: “I have a 3 year old son. But I left him at home to date a lady. With 25 other dudes. That’s cool right? Oh and also… My wife filed a restraining order and I got a domestic abuse charge against me—but that b was drunk and CRAY. We’re good, right?”

A realistic reaction to this conversation would be concern, or fear, or at the very least a few follow up questions regarding the nature of said restraining orders and abuse charges. But in this fantasy world that is the Bachelorette, he gets a rose and a third date! Fantastic.

This mansion is also an alternate universe in which the simplest of words and actions result in immediate love. Notably, Chris acknowledged that the dodgeball date solidified his intensely serious feelings for Des in the following ways: “The way you watched us play dodgeball. The way you coached. The way you listened.”

While you ponder if he is actually referring to a potential girlfriend or gym teacher, I’ll have you know he is not alone in these beliefs. Another strapping young man cozied up to Des by telling her these glorious lines: “You make things fun. You’re a team player. You’re a great sport. You give great feedback.” Yes—in this alternate world it only takes 2 dates and a game of dodgeball for true love to start flying. And Des eats it right up.

However, in the final rose ceremony, in a stunningly realistic move for The Bachelorette, Des acts the way any normal lady would. Poor Brandon, who spent the entire episode crying about single moms, confesses to Des that he is indeed falling in love with her. I’d like to reiterate that the two have gone on one date prior to this. And he prefaces his love confession with a very simple, “I am falling in love with you, even though we never talk.” Ugh. Uuuuuuugh. Poor kid.

I really respected the way Des handled this. Not only did she let him go, she made sure he knew she was doing it now so he wasn’t hurt later—she knew it in her gut that he wasn’t for her. You know, most times that’s how love works. So, kudos Des. You won some points in my book for letting go of this one in a very kind way.

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