Looking to Learn About Female Masturbation? There’s an App for That

There’s a new app that proves you actually can learn how to do anything on the internet. Today, I was disturbed to find out that there’s a new app that teaches you how to masturbate. I’ll give you a moment for that to settle in.

Yes, there is an app to help you masturbate. I don’t know how I feel about this. Once I got past the initial shock and disgust, I started thinking this may not be a bad thing. Society makes women feel disgusting and dirty if they even think about the subject, while men are encouraged to believe that it’s a completely normal part of life. Our lady place is supposed to be some mystical area that we don’t talk or think about until a man comes along. We are being vagina shamed, people. Vagina. Shamed.

Now I’m no feminist, but I’m not down for that.

So, being the equal opportunist that I am, I gave the app a once over. First off, when you get to HappyPlaytime (yes, it’s named happy playtime), there is a literal dancing vagina waiting to greet you. The vagina jostles and shuffles around the screen, dropping little gems  like “aww-yea”, “come to mama”, and “I’m feeling frisky”.

I’m sorry to say that’s as far as I made it. Maybe I’m not as much of an equal opportunist as I thought or maybe I’m just a firm believer that vaginas should not dance. But, for all of you curious women who are ready to be liberated from the chains of needing men…..

There’s an app for that.

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