“Blurred Lines” Annoys Me, But Probably Not Why You Think [Sexy Time]

There has been a fair bit of controversy regarding Robin Thicke‘s huge summer smash, “Blurred Lines“. Some people think that the lyrics are basically glamorizing rape and dehumanizing women. While I definitely see where they are coming from, especially since Robin Thicke admitted that the song and video are pretty crass, I personally don’t find the song particularly disturbing or offensive. After two decades of listening to pop music, I’m increasingly desensitized to the grimy messages that are perpetuated. That said, what irks me about the song is the delineation between “good girls” and “girls who openly love sex.” We’ve got to let go of this idea that only “bad” girls are cool with hooking up.

When I hear the song, I visualize a very specific scenario wherein Robin is out at this club, getting high, and checking out all women. The one who grabs his eye is the one who is impeccably styled, but is kind of aloof. She’s probably at a table sipping champagne while her friends are out on the floor being raucous and grinding on dudes. Robin is drawn to her not only because she’s hot, but because she’s kind of inaccessible. “Good girls” are always the ones who are a little aloof, because only bad girls (ie, sluts) are assertive. It’s only appropriate for men to openly enjoy and pursue sex, and if a woman does so, she’s stepping out of bounds. Or at least, that’s how the puritanical narrative goes.

It’s ridiculous to assess someone’s moral character based on their sexual proclivities. You can be down for no-strings-attached, vaguely anonymous sex and still be empathetic, kind, smart, funny and all kinds of other positive, admirable things.  And just because someone is prudish doesn’t mean they’re a paragon of all things pure and wonderful. It’s totally lazy and remedial to try to read someone just based on how much sex they do or don’t have.

It’s beyond silly to me that guys who are into casual sex buy into the whole “good girl” thing because hello, wouldn’t it make their lives a lot easier if it were more acceptable for women to be sexually aggressive? I can’t imagine it’s fun having to always be the one to take initiative and always having to put yourself out there for rejection. Dudes need to learn how to relinquish some of their power and be okay with women taking control, because that’s the wave of the future. Unless they want to be pouting for the rest of their lives, they should really get with the forward momentum. They wouldn’t have to deal with blurred lines if more women felt comfortable approaching men and expressing themselves.

I get the appeal of people who are a little standoffish, as my second favorite kind of man is the one who doesn’t know I exist, but let’s stop pretending that women who are a little sexually unavailable are somehow superior to women who are like, “Screw it, let’s go fuck in a bathroom stall.” Both approaches are totally valid forms of expression.

15 Signs You’re Meant to Be, Because True Love Is REAL
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