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5 Things I’d Do If I Were Single [Sexy Time]


I love having a boyfriend. I love the stability. I love the comfort. I love the support and the casual movie nights and the snuggles and all of that great stuff. But, on occasion, I do daydream about what it would be like to be single. I mean, I was single for 22 years before I met the beau, so I know what it’s like, but I was so meek and unempowered and passive. I didn’t really take advantage of being single and embracing the nearly endless possibilities that are available.

1. Have a nice drink with a stranger.

I spent half of my 21st year patronizing trashy college bars and clubs, wearing body glitter and sequins and dancing with my friends. Then, I moved to DC, started dressing better and had access to more low-key, sophisticated bars, where I could have totally been chatting up cute grad students, lawyers, government contractors, etc. Instead, I sexted with randos from Craigslist. The low self-esteem struggle was real.

2. Have a one night stand on purpose.

I mean, I did the whole casual hookup thing, but that wasn’t what I wanted at the time. It was more like guys would pull a disappearing act after one date while I was overanalyzing everything and wondering why they weren’t calling me any more. I want to know what it’s like to go out, actively seek semi-anonymous sex, have it, and then comfortably go on with your life.

3. Try Tinder.

Why wasn’t this a thing a few years ago? It would have been hilarious to turn the app on in class or at the student union and hopefully start a mutual like appreciation society with one of the guys I crushed on from afar. If that’s not the definition of a meet-cute, I don’t know what it is..

4. Start a dating blog

I know this is beyond cliche and played out, but I get the appeal of meticulously documenting every date. It makes them seem meaningful and significant, which is important when you’re pretty much doing the same song and dance over and over again 2 or 3 times a week. It gives this annoying ritual a purpose.

5. Go on a date with a catcaller.

This one was totally inspired by this xoJane post. Some of the less-vulgar guys are actually somewhat attractive, and it would be fascinating to actually have a conversation with one, to pick his brain, ask him how he chooses which women to engage with, and hopefully not get serial murdered.

Mariah Carey's closet is what I see when I dream at night. Email me at stilettosandpearlnecklaces [at]!