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10 Reasons Rihanna Is Basically That Stoner Guy You Dated That One Time


Rihanna smokes weed. Rihanna smokes a lot of weed and is quite unapologetic about it. I like her “can do” attitude. After all, it’s not as though she promised us she didn’t smoke weed and then did, she is just one of the many millions of Americans who smoke pot. However, there are some people who smoke weed and then there are some people who identify as pot smokers. Based on Rihanna’s Instagram and Twitter I think we can all agree that Rihanna identifies as a stoner. Homegirl’s PR team isn’t too happy about this since they quickly delete just about every pic she posts of herself smoking some of the biggest blunts I’ve ever seen but hey, a girls got to do what a girls got to do.

When photos were snapped of Rihanna smoking pot at Coachella, MTV tweeted, “Yikes. @Rihanna’s marijuana photos from Coachella spark controversy.” To this, Rihanna promptly tweeted back:

College is a time when probably whoever you date is sort of a typical pot head. You know who I’m talking about: that guy down the hall who probably listens to a lot of gangsta rap although the closest he’s been to a weapon is a water gun and the only drug deals he has made have been his personal purchases from a guy in a Vans hoodie named Doug. Your stoner BF only eats pizza but doesn’t gain any weight, he intensely plays video games but isn’t that good at them because that requires effort as well, he’s not good at school because that requires effort and though he is quick to criticize “the institution of education” and “Big Businesses” he is a business major studying at an academic institution and doesn’t see the hypocrisy at all.

He can go on for hours about different kinds of weed strains and different kinds of highs but to you, they’re all “body highs” and to you, it’s all the same “green shit.” He thinks he’s rebellious when he’s really just too lazy to actually do stuff, thus never conforming but never really doing anything. He loves taco bell and Mountain Dew: Code Red. He makes gang signs in photos, believes the thug life chose him and thinks people who don’t do drugs aren’t enlightened. He is prone to believe in government conspiracies and enjoys TV shows that are “fucked up.” This man, this boy, this person you’ve fallen in love with is Rihanna.

    Emerald is an editor at CollegeCandy, lover of coffee, and pretend francophile. After studying writing and popular culture at NYU she decided to be a grownup and get a job. Tweet at ya' girl @EmeraldGritty.