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Americans Are Addicted To Cheese, And You Said You Would Give It Up For Oral Sex


Yesterday the Center for Science in the Public Interest released an updated study on U.S. eating habits, “The Changing American Diet. Basically, it’s a report card on how horrible American diets are. We eat too much sugar (although the amount has decreased following a dramatic increase after the 1980s), grains and fats. One thing that stood out was how much more cheese we are eating, like, A LOT of cheese.

This isn’t surprising, when Molly asked you guys if you would give up cheese or oral sex, many of you couldn’t decide or adamantly stood with cheese. I understand. Cheese is so good but I had to give up dairy and my life has been in shambles ever since.

According to The Atlantic, “[American consumption of cheese has increased.] at 23 pounds per year, eating more than the occasional cheese dip. In 1970, the number was about eight pounds.” Giiiiiiiiiiirl before I quit eating dairy altogether I was probably eating twice that amount. I am nearly 100% sure that if I had the scientific skills I could prove that somehow by eating so much cheese everyday I made myself intolerant to dairy. 23 pounds of cheese probably isn’t good for your body but for your soul, only my one true savior Britney Spears can answer that and she loves cheese grits so . . .

Dude. Dude. Dude. Gouda is good-a. Chedda’ is bedda. Swiss is bliss. Have you ever eaten an entire block of gouda and an avocado for dinner? I have. It’s the best. You feel fancy even though you are being grossly unhealthy. I think everyone’s body is different and reacts differently to different things. Some people can eat candy and fat and everything “bad” and never have a health issue, while others who maintain a healthy diet can have numerous health problems.

At the end of the day, you do you.

I don’t know what to make of this, so here are a bunch of grilled cheese GIFs to taunt you with.

Oh yeah, look at them thangs.

Sizzle baby sizzle.

I’m going bonkers for cheese.

[Image via. Shutter Stock]

    Emerald is an editor at CollegeCandy, lover of coffee, and pretend francophile. After studying writing and popular culture at NYU she decided to be a grownup and get a job. Tweet at ya' girl @EmeraldGritty.