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Justin Bieber Had His Guards Carry Him Up The Great Wall Of China


Justin Bieber is a person and because he is a person he deserves basic human rights and common courtesy but my goodness, what a tool. What a diva! Our little tough guy who barely wears a shirt these days to show off his “hard body,” was carried up the steps of the Great Wall of China solely out of laziness and entitlement.

Too many stairs? Really? But you are so big and so strong , Justin Bieber. It’s like when you’re a little kid and even though you can walk, you still remember what it was like when your parents were slaves to your every need and pushed you around in a stroller, so you throw a tantrum until they carry you despite you being too heavy to carry at this point.

I guess if I could have a bunch of giant men carry me where ever I wanted I’d do it too. No, I wouldn’t because it’s not just demeaning to them, it’s demeaning to me. It would speak volumes about how I see myself: as someone who is has their head so far up their butt they think they’re above basic human tasks like walking. 

Walk, motherfucker, walk. There are people who actually cannot walk that would see walking up The Great Wall of China as an accomplishment. Not to mention it’s The Great FUCKING Wall of FUCKING China one of the most masterful, architectural accomplishments in human history. It’s visible from space. You’re too lazy, you haven’t had enough Red Bull, you’re not feeling it that day, too bad it’s The Great Wall of China. You’re not better than that wall or any wall or those guards or anybody. You’re an able bodies, incredibly lucky kid, so have a little grace. My mother would have slapped me upside the head if I refused to walk up The Great Wall of China. You’ve come all that way.

Get it together, boy!

Emerald is an editor at CollegeCandy, lover of coffee, and pretend francophile. After studying writing and popular culture at NYU she decided to be a grownup and get a job. Tweet at ya' girl @EmeraldGritty.