That One Time I Made The Most Adult Decision of My Life

This past weekend, I went on a little mini-vacation with my manfriend.  On Thursday, we headed up to a small town in Wisconsin to visit his sister and her family. I missed them terribly (especially my manfriend’s 16 month old nephew, who is the cutest little human to ever walk this planet) since they moved up there, so I was more than excited to take this trip. We stayed at a little B&B right outside town, in a cozy room with a fireplace and terry cloth robes. (I lived in the robe for basically the whole trip because I felt super fancy.)

Friday morning, my manfriend and I decided to hike in a local state park. At this state park, there happened to be a 40 ft. tall observation tower that overlooked (what seemed like) all of Wisconsin. I was really excited to see the view because we had heard great things, so when we finally climbed to the top, I immediately ran to the edge — and took a quick look down.

Big mistake.

Suddenly, my chest felt tight. My heart raced and my knees shook. That is when I remembered that I was kind of, sort of afraid of heights. As I tried to articulate to my manfriend that I needed to get down from this tower before I went into full panic mode. I took a deep breath and asked him for some water.

“Baby, I have a question to ask you…” he prompted.

I figured he was going to ask me for some gum (as he always does) or the time or where we should get dinner later, but the question he asked wasn’t anything like that. It was something much more than I was ever expecting. It was the question. Before I knew what was even happening, I was kissing him as tears fell down both our faces. There was now a beautiful diamond ring on my finger.

I was engaged.

I’m an engaged woman! What?! One second I was hiking in the forest, smelling the crisp fresh air, and wondering what Instagram filter to use on my latest picture, and the next I was committing to a lifetime with one person. I was so stunned. I was shocked. As we walked down the tower, with a goofy smile on my face, all I could say was, “This is so weird! Isn’t this weird?! Don’t you feel weird?”

“No. I don’t feel weird at all,” he replied. I could sense the worry in his voice. He then got closer, took my hand, and said with a smile, “You do realize what you just committed to, don’t you?”

We both chuckled. I knew exactly what I had just said “yes” to, and it was the most important yes of my entire life. Deciding to say yes to my manfriend’s proposal and agreeing to become life partners with him was the biggest decision I have ever made in my entire life. It’s the most adult decision I’ve ever made in my entire life. Lucky for me, it was also the easiest decision I’ve ever made in my entire life.

Truth be told, I still can’t believe that I am actually engaged to be married. Sometimes when I’m driving or typing or cooking, I look down at my hand and think, “Oh right! You’re engaged! You’re going to be a MRS.!”

But wait, wasn’t I just graduating high school? Wasn’t I just learning how to drive a car? Didn’t I just meet my manfriend? Where did the time go? How did I get here? This journey is an incredible one, isn’t it? You truly never know exactly where you’re going to end up. Life is unpredictable, and I am accepting of that. I just am so thankful and blessed to have so many amazing people to hold onto while life keeps surprising me, my husband-to-be especially. And while at times, I still don’t feel like an adult, but I know with my fiancé by my side, I know that I’ll be okay.

I felt so adult on that trip — visiting family, staying at a bed and breakfast, going to bed at like, 8 PM because we were so tired, and um, GETTING ENGAGED. I felt older, but I felt happy. I felt adult, but I was content. I wasn’t panicking because “these are my twenties!!!!!” and I’m supposed to be dancing on tables and taking shots of tequila and kissing strangers and “being young.” I did all that. That was called “college.”

(Disclaimer: If that’s how someone wants to spend their twenties, then more power to you. If I still had the ability to drink a gallon of wine and not want to die the next morning, I’d probably still do it. I just don’t anymore. If you do, then I commend you. Keep on, keepin’ on.)

I don’t feel like I’m “wasting my youth” or moving too fast or rushing into anything. I’ve actually never been more sure of anything in my entire life. This is the first time that I am not absolutely terrified of change. This is the first time I’m taking a huge leap of faith and feeling totally okay with it.

My sudden life change is proof that this is a time in our lives when anything is possible and everything can change. It proves that this age is complicated and messy and unpredictable. It proves that though we’re all twenty-something’s, we’re all on totally different paths–making different choices and leading very different lives. We’re all learning to be adults, just in different very ways. Whether you’re getting a new job, moving out of state, or getting engaged, you’re taking a step toward becoming a more “adult” version of yourself. We’re all taking steps toward something greater, something better, something worth looking forward to.

At this time in our lives, we’re going to be faced with some tough decisions. We’re going to have to evaluate where we are in life, what we want to do with said life and then make some adult choices. No one is going to make them for us anymore. We have to cut the crust off of our own sandwiches, if you get what I’m sayin’. But don’t panic! I promise that whatever choice you make, you can work with. No choice is the wrong one. Life has a way of working itself out and unfolding how we least expected it to. We’re going to take charge. We’re going to decide our life for ourselves.  We’re going to make choices. I just hope that your most adult decision was as easy to make as mine.

These are the Questions You Should Never Ask a Twenty-Something
These are the Questions You Should Never Ask a Twenty-Something
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