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Single Girl Myths Debunked, Vol. II [Diary of the Undateable]


I’m super shy. Like tremendously so. I’m an awkward, soft-spoken introvert that doesn’t even like making eye contact. I have tunnel vision whenever I’m walking on campus or around the city – I just keep to myself, looking straight ahead or at my handy-dandy iPhone. It’s actually kind of pathetic, but I’ve grown so accustomed to blending in, doing my own thing and avoiding unwanted attention that it’s hard for me to notice if someone’s noticing me.

Any women’s magazine or dating coach would tell me that I’m making a cardinal mistake. Eye contact is how everything begins. But if I’m averting my eyes from every guy that happens to be looking then that can’t work right? Right.

One of the things that people in relationships ALWAYS say to people who are single is that at any given moment, “it” can happen. You know – meeting the person of your dreams, falling in love, getting married…the whole nine. I can’t count how many times I’ve been told to stop looking for love because someone’s probably already looking for me. Blah. I chalked that up to yet another unsolved single girl myth…until it happened to me. Kind of.

I was walking from class to my usual bus stop a few blocks away from campus. I decided to sit down on a bench at a nearby neighborhood park and wait ‘til my ride came. I noticed a few guys shooting hoops, peeking over my newspaper to get a sneak peek at the shirtless hotties. Smooth. Eventually my bus came and I went on about my day, completely forgetting about the players and the game.

A few days later, I received a Facebook message from a guy in my network. “Did you have on the dress in your profile pic on last week?”

I was totally surprised – and a little bit embarrassed that he caught me being a repeat offender, but whatevs – by his message. How’d he know? How’d he remember?! Wasn’t he busy playing ball?

“I just recognized the color,” he said.

I don’t remember attempting to look particularly cute that day – I just threw on a random dress and my favorite sparkly Sam Edelmans, finger combed my hair and rolled out. I was totally flattered, though. It’s like a Carrie Bradshaw moment! I thought to myself.

Facebook Guy and I chatted for the entire night, comparing our collegiate experiences and talking about our future plans. I wasn’t attracted to him romantically, but he still seemed like a pretty cool guy. So of course, I asked my friends for advice – particularly my homegirl who was mutual friends with him.

HE IS A CREEP, she texted me in all caps. He was an RA my freshman year and tried to smash. Don’t do it!

Welp. That was that. True to the warning, he alluded to us hooking up as the conversation drew to a close. Which is fine. I think that I’m some kind of douchebag magnet. But it was nice to know that one of the many single girl myths proved to be true. There’s always someone looking, waiting or watching. Guess that’s a good excuse to do a little shopping this weekend.

When she’s not watching for Blue Ivy sightings or doing some serious Facebook creeping, Khalea, a recent Howard University graduate, moonlights as a magazine intern and a freelancer in New York City. Follow her on Twitter at @letsbeKHAlear, or feel free to Twatch. Whatever works for you.