Hello to all you first semester Freshmen out there! Congrats, you’re about to embark on a momentous, um, moment in your lives: the first time you go home for Thanksgiving as a college student. Oh boy, how the emotions mix and smolder like a witches brew. Allow me to shed some light on what’s in store for you.
“What are you majoring in?” will be asked of you repeatedly. You’ll be bombarded with having to declare your focus to your family a full year and a half before the college asks you have your sh*t together. Because the Dean has nothing on Uncle Ernie!
Other questions you’ll have to endure repeating the same answers to until you find yourself compulsively buying copies of “Catcher in the Rye” will include, but are not limited to, “How are you enjoying college?” “Met any cute boys yet?” “What’s your favorite class?” and “What’s your dorm like?” The good news is that whatever you answer is about as meaningful as a Steven Moffat created female companion. All anybody really wants is to impart on you some life wisdom through telling you one of THEIR college stories. Because you are now the vessel everyone older will live, somewhat, vicariously through.
Rehearse the stories you CAN tell while you’re busing, training, or flying back home. Try to edit incidents involving jello shots, pledging, hooking up while your room mate is on the bottom bunk, or three in the morning phone conversations with your high school boyfriend that left you in tears. Keep it sweet and short and keep eating! You can’t talk with your mouth full.
On the sadder side you will truly appreciate the glory of having a washer and dryer and dishwasher handy. You will be grateful for the laundry fairy who seemingly abandoned you went you left the nest. Also you will be reminded how getting up before noon is next to near impossible and discover twenty-three things you want to take back to campus with you.
You’ll leave with one of two reactions: A heavy heart at leaving your safety blanket and going back into the unfamiliar or a giant sigh of relief that you get to go back to being an independent adult. Neither is wrong. Some people find adjustment takes longer than the first couple of months while others were ready before senior year of HS. But you’re going to lean one way or the other. Hopefully you follow this arc: when you first come home you’ll be filled with love and nostalgia, but by the end of the weekend you’ll be screaming at your mom that there’s no chance in Hell you’re doing the dishes…and she shouldn’t either.
In summation here’s what you need to prepare for:
Have a happy Turkey Day!
[Lead image via Poznyakov/Shutterstock]