Three Tips for Seeing An Old Flame Over Break [Diary of the Undateable]

‘Tis the season for food, friends and family…but old boos always find a way to mess up that holiday cheer. One of my friends, Ashley, hit me up with a holiday dilemma. She lives on the West Coast and talked to this guy for an entire summer. From what she told me, he sounded perf. Athletic, smart, charming – and not to mention fine with a capital F! The only downfall was that he was only in their town for a few months…he goes to school on the East Coast. Things were going swimmingly before he left…but as soon as he boarded and settled in his dorm, he ghosted.

He fell through on promised phone calls and would be totally different when they texted. She really, really liked him and wanted to make it work…and long distance relationships aren’t impossible if both parties are committed. He wasn’t. Wait, he actually was…to another girl. Yep, she found out that he was dating someone else through Instagram on Woman Crush Wednesday. The worst situation EVER…no one wants to be broken up with via social media! Even though he was clearly attached to someone else, he still liked Ashley’s photos on Instagram all of the time, making sure that she didn’t completely remove him off of her radar.

She voiced her concerns about him returning home for the holidays. They had made promises to see each other when he came back…you know, before his unceremonious social media diss. And since they roll in the same circle, she’s bound to run into him. “I’m not sure how I’m supposed to feel or act around him, or what I’m supposed to say,” she said. “What should I do?”

It’s one thing to see your high school friends over break. Talk. About. Awkward. But seeing an old boo is a whole ‘nother thing. It’s a slippery single girl slope. So I gave Alex three tips if she did decide to get that old thing back:

1) Don’t

2) Do

3) It

Easy, right? I just think that it’ll open up a doorway to those feelings that she so seamlessly stored away months ago. Why undo all that work?

Last Christmas, I asked my summer fling out for a drink. He seemed really excited to see me again and always made sure to tell me to let him know when I’d be in town. After days of texting and setting up and obsessing over what I’d wear, he basically stood me up. Yeah, I shouldn’t use one douchebag’s ducking as an example…but it’s a cautionary tale. If he disappeared after the summer, he will disappear after Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year’s Day as well.

It’s super tempting to call him when your homeroom pals are busy or answer that “Happy Thanksgiving!” text (which is a total ploy btw)…but getting over an old crush again will take way longer than the time you’ll spend with him.

When she’s not watching for Blue Ivy sightings or doing some serious Facebook creeping, Khalea moonlights as a print journalism major at the REAL HU, Howard University. Follow her on Twitter at @letsbeKHAlear, or feel free to Twatch. Whatever works for you.

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