Justin Bieber Announces “Official Retirement” On Twitter

Justin Bieber is retiring. God bless us, God bless everyone! On Christmas morning, our favorite toy for tot Justin Bieber announced he was “officially retiring” on Twitter.

I looked forward to watching the little tyke grow up and transition into IRL adulthood not this convoluted image of what teenagers and adolescents think being a grown up is a.k.a. a phase. 

My beloved beliebers I'm officially retiring

— Justin Bieber (@justinbieber) December 25, 2013

I am not the biggest Bieber fan, though I can admit some of his songs are good. I wonder what spurred the need to retire. Now,  much like when Family Guy killed off Brian the dog and brought him back the next week, it’s pretty clear that this is some sort of half-assed publicity stunt. Sorry, December is Beyonce’s now. You are not going to outpace her in terms of public surprise.

The day before he tweeted his retirement, Mr. Bieber tweeted:

The media talks a lot about me.They make a up a lot of lies and want me to fail but I'm never leaving you, being a belieber is a lifestyle.

— Justin Bieber (@justinbieber) December 25, 2013

It’s a “lifestyle.” This sounds a lot like someone who might be going on hiatus from music to launch a clothing line or reality television series. However, it’s been long rumored (on sites like BlindGossip.com) that Justin’s camp fears he is out of control and has been trying to send him to rehab. His retirement, which will inevitably be brief, might just be a guise to get him much needed help, which in that case, is a great idea to keep things other wrap.

In any case, no one is buying this retirement. Not even for a second.

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