Good Morning, Vietnam! A new week, a new city, a new set of dramatic dates. And, unfortunately, a new (much more douchey) view of Juan Pablo.
Renee receives the first one on one date, and it’s about time. She’s a good 10 years older than most of the women of the show, already has a daughter, and is clearly ready to settle down. No doubt, she would be the most logical choice for Juan Pabs. On their date, he bought her a dress, her son a hat, and also went and purchased a fan for her when she was wicked hot. Dude is so thoughtful.
Despite the caring gifts… No kiss. And honestly, they are thinking way too much about kissing this season. Juan Pablo is so concerned that Renee’s son may see the show, and see his mom kissing someone. Okay, reasonable concern… I guess. But fast forward 12 hours and he’s making out with another chick in a boat. How is his daughter supposed to feel about that? I have a theory that Juan is using his daughter (and in this case Renee’s son) as something of an excuse to not have to kiss the girls he doesn’t want to kiss. I wish I could say that’s the last negative thing I have to say about JP this week.
Here are a few things I learned on this week’s group date: Cassandra doesn’t think we have gardens in America, and Chelsie actually believes Juan Pablo just wandered into a Vietnamese person’s house who happened to have enough pointy hats for everyone. Also, Clare is 32. Huh.
I also learned that Juan Pablo is kind of a D. I hated how he took Clare away to his suite. I hated how he took the time to get in their bathing suits. I hated how they made out in the water for what felt like hours. I found it to be quite rude. But most importantly, I hated their stupid frolic in the ocean later that night.
Look, it must be hard as a dude if you do have a stronger connection to one girl, to not spend that time with her. But, you really have to try. And this was a bad move on his part. It really bummed me out. As Sharleen said, he has to show the girls they are Pandas in a room full of Brown Bears.
On the next one on one date with Nikki, JP once again makes a girl terrified for her life. If I had a dollar for every time a girl on the Bachelor compared falling or bungee jumping or rock climbing to falling in love, I would be one rich lady. I get it, you have to trust someone. Whatever, I am so over these dates. The bigger question for me is: why wasn’t this cave entrance to this horrifying cave blocked off in any way? I expected them to find a million skeletons down here. I mean, yikes.
At the cocktail party, Juan Pabs did what I felt he should have done initially by telling Clare they went too far. Again, not surprisingly, she totally misunderstood. He was trying to be a stand up dude. He was realizing that he got caught up in the moment, and he wasn’t being fair to the other chicks. I almost feel like this apology was directed at me, because in a sense, he betrayed me by slutting it up with Clare.
But, I am also a little torn. Is it terrible of him to say after the fact that it was too far? Is he using his daughter (as my future sister in law put it) only when convenient? I am getting some conflicting vibes from him. On the one hand, he realized he was unfair and sort of took responsibility for that. On the other hand, he kind of slut shamed Clare after the fact, about something he was 100% complicit in. Maybe we all put too much faith in him and his cute accent and his arms and his face. Maybe I am having too many existential questions about The Bachelor.
I can’t decide. But I am holding out so much hope that next week will be better, once we get out of ‘Nam.
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We’re Here For The Right Reasons: “The Bachelor” Recap, Episode 5
