Miley Cyrus kicked off her Bangerz Tour this weekend by simulating oral sex on Bill Clinton. Basically, it was exactly what I had imagined, except way worse. Miley’s vision is both someone’s actual nightmare and someones’ actual acid trip. It’s a feathered, cow girl, pot head, sequin-fest. It’s a pop culture, political, little-people-dressed-as-joints, twerk-tastic-booty-filled, Britney Spears-referenced, tongue twisting celebration of things that I do not understand. Does anyone? It’s Miley Cyrus, 100%. I understand the precaution, Miley can sing pretty well but it’s not as though she can dance. She needs the spectacle surrounding her otherwise her concert would be pretty boring (see: Rihanna). I don’t know if Miley is really a dadaist—an early 20th century artist who mixed a bunch of random images together to be utterly meaningless by rejecting reason and logic—or just a girl with a lot of money and the ability to literally do whatever. I don’t know if Miley has vision or is just having fun, I suppose in the end it doesn’t really matter.
I have no idea what any of this means but it looks like a good time, if you’re really, really stoned.