Spring break is notorious for inspiring poor judgment and bad hangovers. Like clockwork, students flock to beaches, resorts and hotels during their spring breaks to wreak havoc, break furniture and make a lot of poor sexual choices. Although spring break can feel like a rite-of-passage, that doesn’t give you the right-of-way to act a complete fool.
Here are some basic rules to implement during spring break that can help you stay alive, healthy, and STD-free (or at least guide you into that direction).
Mixing liquor will get you drunk faster…and introduce you to the pavement faster. When drinking during spring break, at least attempt to find some form of chill. Don’t savagely mix Patron with Hennessey. The combination of light and dark liquor will have you drunk off your ass and flat on your face in no time. It’s infamous for causing epic blackouts and pass-outs at parties. Passing out at a party is, unfortunately, an open invitation for anyone to violate you, whether it be by drawing all over you in permanent marker or dragging you up to a bedroom that isn’t yours. Attempt to limit yourself to one kind of alcohol per night, and please don’t drink the whole bottle yourself.
Avoid balconies like the plague. There are actually a shocking (or not so shocking) number of deaths or injuries caused by students falling off their balcony during a drunken daze. Don’t get a room with a balcony, I promise you that you won’t even enjoy the view when you’re swaying like a tree in a hurricane. Why can’t you fall from your standing position like everyone else when they’re drunk, instead of a 30 ft. high balcony? Make smart choices, people.
Don’t blow all of your cash in the span of two days. It’ll be tempting in your drunken stupor to completely destroy your wallet with alcohol-related purchases, tacky knickknacks from crappy boardwalk stores, and that piercing you’ve always wanted. But your stomach will thank you later when you don’t have to live off of luke-warm beers and the Cheetos you brought with you as a snack for the car ride. If you budget, you won’t want to kick yourself if you end up stranded at a crappy club because your ride is so drunk they can hardly stand, let alone drive. With saved money, you won’t have any problem finding a cab to take you and your drunken ride back to your hotel.
NEWS FLASH: You don’t have to have sex during spring break. When most of us think of spring break, we think of wild sexual excursions and poor decisions we only regret after we wake up next to an awkward looking guy who looks a lot younger and a lot grosser than we thought he did last night. But guess what? You’re not required to have sex over spring break. If you just want to relax and have a good time without any sex, than go for it! Chill out and enjoy yourself- be prepared for anything (meaning bring protection), but don’t force yourself to do anything you’re not comfortable with.
Take a nice little hiatus from your camera. If you want to remember this trip with some nice, tasteful pictures to put on Instagram or Twitter, go for it. But try not to record and post every drunken adventure you might have with your friends. I promise you, the world wide web is not that interested in your trip and you don’t want it to take interest in your trip. Next thing you know, there’s a meme based on you and you’re a trending topic on twitter. Try to make sure you’re not doing anything in public that would be recording-worthy. You can’t control what other people put up of you, so the best thing to do is to attempt to lay low. Cameras will be at the ready during spring break.
Keep your clothes on, child. Bathing suits, short-shorts, crop tops, etc. are all a part of the typical spring break outfit. No shirt, no bra, and no shorts are all a part of the typical outfit that can land you a spot on Girls Gone Wild. Try as much as possible to keep your clothes on for the sake of not finding out you’re internet sensation when you come back home.
[Lead image via Kzenon/Shutterstock]
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