I vividly remember a time in my recent history when I kept knocking the advances of an unwanted suitor. He would probably like to say he was friend-zoned, but I don’t even think of him THAT way…so the poor guy was basically S.O.L. He was repugnant and I turned him down, as I’m already happily in a relationship. This did not fly well with him. He took to social media spewing off about “nice” guys and how they never get the girl, blah blah blah.
I know I’m preaching to the choir here, but as we ladies know – the “nice guys finish last” cliche is tired, and we are all soooo over it. Here’s my thing: this guy may have been nice, I’m not really sure. However, by calling himself a nice guy in this particular scenario he’s implying two things. One: that I am “one of those girls” who only dates hot jerks. I’m a walking stereotype, and I must not care about a man’s personality. Two: that my current choice in romantic partner is an asshole. Neither of those things are true in any stretch; although my boyfriend is pretty cute, he’s the farthest thing from asshole I’ve ever met.
Why did I choose to date this nice guy over some other “nice” guy? Well, there’s actually a lot of reasons – but I can tell you not a single one of them is because Stephen (boyfriend) is nice. If that’s literally all I had to say about him after our first date, there wouldn’t have been a second date, or a third etc. We’ve been together almost a year. Stephen IS nice, but he’s also funny, smart, loves movies, takes care of me, pushes me in my career, argues with me and is usually right and genuinely cares about me. So yeah, he’s nice but that’s not really the point.
“Nice” guys who moan over girls are playing the victim. I don’t understand how “nice” is attractive. Everyone should be nice. It’s called being a decent human being. I’m not going to run out and date every guy because they treat people decently. EVERYONE SHOULD BE TREATING PEOPLE DECENTLY. Being “nice” is great, but you shouldn’t get some freaking award for something that 90 percent of the population already does. You need to stand out. Did my suitor take into consideration that we have zero things in common? Sure didn’t. Did he care about my feelings at all? Nope, or he wouldn’t have gone on a social media tirade. I wanted to shake him and scream in his face, “Did you ever consider that maybe I didn’t like you because we’re just not compatible?!?!” Because, I doubt it. I must not have liked him because he was a “nice” guy.
Seriously think about it. These self proclaimed “nice” guys think they deserve to sleep with you, win you or date you for the SOLE REASON of them being nice. They think they are owed a date or whatever just because they treated a girl with respect. Re-read that line. They think they are OWED a date. They think they DESERVE a date. Well I hate to burst bubbles, but no. I don’t OWE someone a date because they were nice to me. That kind of thinking is selfish and completely sexist. And most importantly, it’s annoying and gross. And when these “nice” guys don’t get what they feel they were owed? They call women bitches and sluts and a slew of other terrible names.
But that doesn’t sound very nice to me.
Molly is a senior journalism/English major at a school you haven’t heard of in a state you haven’t heard of. She’s obsessed with Chandler Bing, English bulldogs, and cheese. Follow her on twitter @mollymahannah, or check out her website accordingtomolly.com.