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Post-Grad Life is About the Simple Joys [Twenty-Something Rules]


Twenty-Something Rules-2

I find the most out-of-control ways to be happy these days. It’s actually hilarious. For example, the other day, I found a clean washcloth in my drawer to wash my face with. I squealed with unattainable glee. And then I conveniently had two matching socks right out of laundry for my feet! Cue the smiles! Best day ever!

You’ll find that life is a careful adventure, sprinkled with simple pleasures you couldn’t imagine enjoying before it all got stressful and real.

From one twenty-something to another, let’s celebrate the small things.

Rule #29: Christmas ornaments and socks? Nightmare childhood gifts turned dream twenty-something gifts.

After college, in your own cold barely heated apartment, you will do anything for a warm pair of socks that actually match. And once you get your first tree, ornaments as gifts will warm your heart. Raise your mug of hot chocolate to being old mature.

Rule #30: Search #blessed and @DiGiornoPizza on Twitter. You’re welcome.

Wave goodbye to anything productive you planned on accomplishing today.

Rule #31: Whenever you get overly emotional, blame the birth control.

Estrogen is all you have, ladies.  Although I still strongly believe excessive estrogen intake can make you legitimately INSANE, sometimes it’s the little things that trigger a birth-control-induced meltdown. When you cry over a Kohl’s Christmas commercial, or in the Target aisle shopping for dish towels because, well you don’t know why…blame it on the alcohol pills.

Rule #32: You’re not exercising if you “go on a run with a friend” and talk about the latest episode of Revenge.

I’ve never understood people who can go on a run with their girlfriends AND have a successful conversation a midst all that labored breathing and gasping for air. Maybe, I’m a little out of shape. Either way, don’t talk to me while I’m running. I’m trying to build my calf muscles and nurture possible cardiac arrest.

Rule #33: Flip-Sides and chocolate covered pretzels are not lunch.

Trust. You’ll be shaking and yelling at people’s shadows by 1pm. Try to feed yourself during the day. And if it’s hard because you don’t have your mother around to stock the fridge, make a happy habit of grocery store shopping for vegetables and (yes) ranch dressing. At least!

Rule #34: Let the land of Pinterest numb your mind of productivity and take weeks from your life.

Let it. Let it sweep you up like a magical force and take you away from humanity and anything remotely realistic in your life. Let it remind you that everything you pin will never be bought/cooked/designed in your home. Oh, the unattainable life Pinterest blesses me with!

Rule #35: Live alone.

At least once. Why? You always know what you’re walking into. A floor full of sunny-side-up underwear? Who cares, they’re yours. Running from the bathroom to the kitchen with no pants on because you ran out of toilet paper and need a paper towel? Who cares. No one else is there to point and laugh. Doing everything in bed? Who cares, no one is there to judge you. Inviting your boyfriend over so he can walk in and all you’re wearing is a silky Merona red robe from Target? Who cares, because he definitely doesn’t. Eating a frozen pizza like a cave woman? Who cares, it tastes better when you’re aggressive about it. Living alone; a shameless, self-satisfying practice that must be done.

Click here for rules 1-28!

    University of Saint Thomas graduate. Minnesota-bred and happy to talk about the weather any time you’d like! Strongly believes any situation can be bettered by a slice of generously buttered toast or Phil Dunphy. Would get arrested to touch Justin Timberlake’s face. Always trying to be a better person by not wishing horrible karma on people driving slow in the fast lane. Hear more: @twitter @instagram