Yesterday Gwyneth Paltrow dropped the GOOPiest bomb ever when she announced that she and husband Chris Martin were going to partake in a conscious uncoupling. Say, wha? In layman’s terms, they’re getting a divorce. For reasons unknown they’re dunzo. Oh, hold the phone. Let me put those words back in my mouth real quick, because BlindGossip is reporting the exact reason the famous duo are splitting.
Here’s the blind item they posted last night:
The FIRST WIFE is still trying to figure out if she wants to be one.
She and her husband have been through a lot the last few years, on both sides. It was before the trouble though when she had an affair with a colleague — still above the line, but with a smaller spotlight, both compared to First Wife and his own wife who’s just as famous too, and should be just as acclaimed.
The affair was intense, so intense that First Wife wanted to end her marriage and he was going to end his marriage but then her husband needed her in crisis. So she helped him recover, and as soon as he healed, she fell apart. By the time she got it together, her moment with her lover had passed. He happily reconnected with his own wife (though she has no idea) while First Wife is struggling with what would have been.
As for the Second Wife – everyone’s been speculating about her infidelity recently but they might be focusing on the wrong target.
The right target isn’t a billionaire but he’s a pretty successful player too, albeit on a smaller screen. Their involvement led to an award for her, and a divorce for him.
She was attracted to him because “he’s the hot geeky type like her husband”. Both insist that they never moved past suggestive texting and heavy flirting and never ended up consummating their attraction. Bullsh-t. There was at least one night and that’s why she’s so freaked out about the takedown that’s been coming to her. She’d be happy if they stayed on the current scene they’re on so long as she doesn’t get busted for this one.
PS. Everyone mentioned here is a major celebrity.
First Wife:
First Wife’s Husband:
Her Colleague/Lover:
Colleague’s Wife:
Second Wife:
Second Wife’s Husband:
Wrong Target:
Right Target:
Right Target’s Ex-Wife:
Second Wife’s Award:
And now here’s the solved info:
SECOND WIFE: Gwyneth Paltrow
Second Wife’s Husband: Chris Martin
Wrong Target: Jeffrey Soffer
Right Target: Brad Falchuk, Glee producer
Right Target’s Ex-Wife: Suzanne Falchuk
Second Wife’s Award: Emmy Award for Glee
Vanity Fair may have capitulated on publishing the dirty details… but we won’t! Goopy had an affair! With a producer from Glee!
Let’s start with the wrong target.
Gwyneth’s alleged 2009 affair with Florida billionaire Jeffrey Soffer is the affair that everyone was speculating was going to be part of the Vanity Fair article. Soffer wasn’t married in 2009… but Paltrow was!
Model Elle McPherson, who was dating Soffer in 2009 and is now married to him, hates Gwyneth Paltrow with a passion because of it!
Now let’s talk about the right target.
Brad Falchuk is a television writer, director and producer. He is best known for his work on the television series Nip/Tuck, Glee, and American Horror Story.
Gwyneth did a few episodes of Glee playing a substitute Spanish teacher. It was during this time that Gwyneth and Brad Falchuk had an affair. It was this affair that Gwyneth was terrified about appearing in Vanity Fair, both because it was more recent and because it was with a married man.
Brad Falchuk was married to Suzanne Falchuk when Gwyneth arrived on the scene… but then Suzanne just disappeared in 2013. There’s little trace of her left on the internet. She isn’t even mentioned on Brad Falchuk’s Wikipedia page. Did they get a divorce? Did he have her Shelly Miscavaged? She is just gone. One thing is for sure: Wherever she is, she hates Gwyneth Paltrow!
Gwyneth Paltrow’s relationship with Chris Martin has been bad for years. Her affairs with Jeffrey Soffer and Brad Falchuk – and her sweating over being outed by Vanity Fair – were just two of the many stresses contributing to the Paltrow/Martin divorce.
Yes, the Martins are getting divorced. Here is the announcement from Gwyneth herself, who does it on her own Goop.com website (which is currently down):
Conscious Uncoupling
It is with hearts full of sadness that we have decided to separate. We have been working hard for well over a year, some of it together, some of it separated, to see what might have been possible between us, and we have come to the conclusion that while we love each other very much we will remain separate. We are, however, and always will be a family, and in many ways we are closer than we have ever been. We are parents first and foremost, to two incredibly wonderful children and we ask for their and our space and privacy to be respected at this difficult time. We have always conducted our relationship privately, and we hope that as we consciously uncouple and coparent, we will be able to continue in the same manner.
BG Translation: We’ve both been privately f*cking other people non-stop since our marriage began and now we’re getting a divorce. However, I want you to think I’m still perfect, so keep reading my website so I can tell you how to live your life. Now, leave me alone, hoi polloi.
So, now you know that Gwyneth cheated on her husband with Brad Falchuk. That’s not all. Stay tuned!
As always, big thanks to BlindGossip for keeping us in the celebrity gossip loop with instant insight on what is sure to be the most amazing Hollywood divorce of my life.
