Cosmic Candy: March 31st – April 6th

We are pleased to announce that we’ve teamed up with one of our favorite astrologists (and talented yoga pro), Chani Nicholas, to bring you weekly horoscope readings. Check back each Monday to see what’s in the stars for your week!
The Real Deal:
This week the sun will start to trigger the upcoming Grand Cross, one of the main attractions of the now infamous astrology of April 2014. It will square Jupiter on Tuesday making everything bigger, conjunct Uranus on Wednesday giving us a jolt of electricity and Square Pluto on Thursday connecting us to some deeper issues around power, control and loss. The sun of course illuminates, energizes and brings conscious awareness to whatever it touches in our charts. This solar movement feels like the cosmos is taking a highlighter pen to our upcoming chapter which could be entitled “All That Jazz,”and picking out the key components that we will personally and collectively need to look at, eyes open, lights on.
Venus enters Pisces on Saturday, good for the fishes and the rest of us as Venus is exalted in this sign. I am not sure we’ll feel it much, it’s a subtle sweetness swept up in the undertow of more vigorous waves (though I waxed poetic for my Pisces this week, not to ignore the tougher stuff but sometimes one just needs to focus on the fun).
Sunday’s new moon is just getting started on its latest cycle and will end up fully realized as a lunar eclipse on April 15th (more on that soon). We are in a building week, but build with great awareness and mindfulness, as eclipses tend to blow many things out of the water. They are said to be powerful pattern setting times (but every thought is a powerful pattern setting time if you think about it), so it’s a good reason to be extra aware of the path we carve out everyday and if it’s the one we want to keep on.
With the new moon, the sun and Uranus all in Aries (me, me, me, me!!!) I did what I wanted to do with this week’s horoscopes; I told you a tall tale of truth. Each story is meant to be a reminder that we are the narrators of our lives. We have little control over what happens to us, but we have maximum control about how we take care of ourselves in the framing of it. Tell yourself true stories, leave the lies for the newscasters.
Love out!
Aries & Aries Rising
Shes here! the little one screamed as she scampered back under the comforting shade of her father’s silk house coat. All morning she had her nose pressed up against the glass of the window, creating steaming clouds of anticipation with every exhale she dared release. She was all a flutter because her glorious, infamous god mother, Sun, was on her way to town. Anytime that happened everything around her glowed with the warmest radiance. Incandescent inspirations flew about like fireflies on too much caffeine. It was almost too much for her little system to bear, and so she bounced between her father’s housecoat and her other father’s warm embrace.
Like any wise child does, she sturdied herself in the love that was available to her. Every year at this time her god mother appeared, but this year there seemed to have extra excitement. Or was it a tension, or perhaps a discomfort? Certainly it felt important and had wound the little one in more ways than one. Her fathers had been trying to distract her, settling her with simple tasks, things that grounded her and kept her in the moment; things that reminded her that the only moment that really mattered was the one at hand. They wanted her to grow up with an indestructible faith in her ability to meet any challenge and face any fear that reared its head. They wanted her to trust her gut, follow her heart and find her own way through the world. They wanted her to know that they would always be there, always. They also wanted her to feel so confident in this connection she would freely and without prompt run out into the field and meet her life with an open mind, a willing heart and a sturdy gaze. They wanted her to rejoice in the wisdom gleaned from mistakes and mishaps. They talked long into the night about raising a daughter who was only attracted to those that loved her, those that recognized her and those that honored her.
And so when the call of Sun became bright enough they were not surprised that there little jewel of a gem ran to the door, suddenly unafraid, opened it and dashed out into the yard to meet her god mother. No, they were not surprised at all but their hearts swelled with love, admiration and gratitude for the gift that this little being was. They both silently prayed that they would be as brave, as self-affirmed and as game when the time came.
Taurus & Taurus Rising
“It’s like someone lovingly stroking your arm over and over again in the same place until it just becomes fucking annoying. Sometimes the grate is too much, too harsh. Sometimes there seems to be no break in the cycle, just a continuous spinning with the same ebbs and flows. Yes, the day is different but is anything else? I just don’t know. It’s like constant PMS. Sometimes I want to put a million Morning After pills in the cis-male water supply so that they might understand, if only for a day or two, the kind of tearing to pieces hormones can do to one’s psyche.”
She was having an off day, but not without reason. All sorts of ghosts had been conjured up and there wasn’t much substantial to hold onto. But this was what was right now; the light had temporarily gone behind the clouds and all she had to rely on was her gut, some tea leaves left in a cup she drank from earlier that morning and the way the birds had decided to fly. The good news was that this kind of raw emotional terrain was honest even in its disproportion. It was honest because it didn’t care how it rendered one, it just came crashing in like a tsunami and left just as fast. These upheavals would roll in and out for the next month, she knew this. She knew that the very end of the month would also bring an eclipse in her sign. So she took a deep breath and let her exhale be what it was from moment to moment. She was glad that her closest ally, Venus, had come to town to support her through this transition. She anchored her torn heart in the loving salve of good friendships, ‘cause she was wise like that.
Gemini & Gemini Rising
“I refuse this loneliness, this despair and this disassociation from my fellows. I know it is a constructed experience by the one and only imperialist white-supremacist capitalist patriarchy and I refuse to buy it any longer. I am armed with seed bombs, love bombs, freshly baked neighborly hellos and a schedule of badass community events that will shake off any and all fears of isolation that arise.”
The twins said this in unison as they headed out for the day. They knew that their neighborhood wasn’t perfect, wasn’t without need and problems, wasn’t without injustice and signs of wealth inequality. However they were decidedly dedicated to creating human partnerships with those that they were in communication with during their daily movements. Their friends were facing some interesting situations which were affecting them in turn and perhaps not all was going as smoothly as they had wished. There was no reason to retract from the tension. In fact they were in the center of group activity, group dynamics and group interactions and this was exactly what was supposed to be happening. One could say that they were taking on a greater role in their community, one that was a little unnerving at times, a little unexpected even, but something that they knew was an important stepping stone in their current path.
So they showed up, they showed up with an understanding of what so often separates us (greed, fear, envy and misunderstandings) and they countered those conditions with a disruptive and unique approach. They did this so that the folks around them could be shaken out of their slumber and brought back to the conscious knowing that they also were not separate from any source of love, connection or belonging. How generous the Gemini.
Cancer & Cancer Rising
Being a child of La Lune, she felt that the blaring lights of the city were an intrusive invader that assaulted the kind of wisdom found only in the dark. She yearned for the velvet skies of the country that bear witness to the emerging light of the Aries new moon that had felt so shattering upon its arrival. She had known that it was going to be difficult and she was OK with that. However she felt that she needed to see the emergence of this month’s crescent as proof of her own growth, like an anchor in the sky that she could tie herself to like an ancient GPS tracking device. But that fantasy was not this moment. This moment was bright and bold and shook her in ways that showed her just how strong-weak she was. Yes, strong-weak, like peaceful protests and deafening silence. She felt the contradiction of the moment and decided to give over to it by relinquishing her former need to amalgamate into others interests, fancies and fears.
She would instead continue on this path of self-definition. She would no longer try to stuff herself into to any kind of societally set out life-path. She conjured up the image of a sky she could live under; one dark enough to reflect the crevices of her mind and the tone of her blood. She moved only when necessary because she knew that to stand still builds strength. The weight bearing exercise of holding herself up had sturdied the bones that formed her. Every step in the upcoming week was a movement that needed to be done with an awakened body/mind/heart connection; she needed her whole being on board to navigate wisely. She gathered her wits and waited for the right time to set out on the week ahead. Before any motion was to be instigated she made sure that she declared the only declaration that would insure her movements not be in vain. She tilted her head back, opened her throat and let the howl of her heart escape from her stating, without out doubt, to anything in earshot, I want it. She roared, without trepidation and without remorse. She did want it, which is why in the end it came.
Leo & Leo Rising
Leo knew that there was little as valuable in this life as believing that each day was unfolding exactly as it should. Perhaps only second to that was to understand the importance of taking the time to appreciate synchronicity when it happened. Leo knew that she wasn’t always the best at letting life flow as it wanted to. How would one know when one’s close-up was if everything was just left up to chance?!
However the tempo of the moment was spasmodic at best, so Leo knew better than to plan too far ahead. There did seem to be some kind of adventure unfolding underneath her feet. She was restraining herself from too much anticipation; in fact Leo was trying to break many of her beliefs about what “should” come next or what was “supposed” to happen at this point in the plot line. There would be drama for sure but she was trying to let her inner faith shine if even only in the back rooms. Sometimes secrets are more attractive than obvious additions. This faith had been brewing for the past few seasons and soon it would appear in more obvious ways. For now she was confident in what was growing inside of her. She knew that if she could enjoy the unknown right now she was actually in pretty good spirits, good standing and exciting times. There was a lot coming down the barrel of April so she would be content when and where she could be.
Virgo & Virgo Rising
Aging was upon him, but he knew it was a relentless hound that chased us all. There was nothing special about his particular process. The culture he lived in wasn’t kind to age though, which made him feel his mortality acutely. At the same time, he felt an especially arousing connection to those sitting across from him, so he was in a bit of a bind. Could he embrace the limits of the body and at the same time not limit the possibility of a heartfelt connection?
Venus, the beautiful, bountiful benefice was on her way to his Seventh House of How you doin’? While Mercury, Neptune and Chiron had been there for quite some time (Mercury less so), there was action here. Action, he knew was important for growth, so he actively used all of his important partnerships to help him face the fears that were arising in the more private aspects of his life. It wasn’t really about dying, per se, as much as it was about grappling with the psychological underpinnings of being merely mortal. No one really can confirm if it’s better to live a life examined, but if you have the inkling to do so the opposite feels like life is just one meaningless interaction after another. So he continued his investigation, it was either that or go to the doctor again about that mysterious pain in his left earlobe, only to be told it was all in his head. Even though it was in his ear.
Libra & Libra Rising
She just wasn’t willing to ignore her needs anymore. She wasn’t willing to ignore her needs or her feelings or her cravings. She knew that April was splitting her down the middle, like the separation of Adam and Lilith. At least it felt that way. The person who felt so much a part of her, so intertwined with her was now, without a doubt finding their own way. The only thing left to do was to watch them go while having total faith that they would return at precisely the right time if they were meant to. Loving someone, loving anyone is like pining your heart to their lapel and hoping it won’t get too broken as they traipse about countrysides, poolsides and city streets.
As she witnessed this individuation, there was question that she was sinking deeper into a curious quicksand eating up her former confidence. Who was she if her relationship to him/her/them changed? Naked and vulnerable she shuddered against the breeze of April’s exhale. She could already feel the oncoming eclipse in her sign (on April 15th) start to work her very last nerve. She had no choice but to give in to its thumping pulse. She felt like a lost wolf at times, out in the wild, her own heart pinned to her own lapel, howling in rhythm to the frequency of La Lune’s upcoming peek-a-boo show. Mars, still in her sign, moving retrograde like nails down a chalkboard, wasn’t allowing her to turn from unpleasantries. So she stood, bravely, vulnerably, afraid and full of faith. She stood with her children; doubt, despair, loneliness, kindness, beauty and pleasure on the doorstep of each day and said, “Yes, and thank you.” Sometimes she had to say, “No, but thank you,”and really mean it. Which was harder but necessary.
Scorpio & Scorpio Rising
The fortune cookies laid in wait on small saucer in front of them, daring each one to pick their fate. Micha gave in first and went for the closet one. He opened the cellophane (wondering why on earth it was legal to enclose momentary pleasures in wrapping that was immediately discarded but everlasting) smashed the cookie and read the contents. “Do what you are doing, but do it differently and you will achieve great results in your career.”
He had been feeling this kind of pull lately if he was going to be honest. Most things it seemed were not moving according to plan anyways so why not try another route? He knew that his daily routines needed to be invigorated with some vim and vigor but he was at a loss for how to do so. Actually truth be told (but please don’t tell anyone) he was scared. He gave off an air of confidence, even conceit at times, but in all honesty being a fixed sign wasn’t easy. He was good at keeping things going, keeping them on track and being a little (or a lot) tunnel visioned. This was some big picture business he was up against. He knew that if he wasn’t willing to change things on the day to day, the year to year would also follow suite and he would be right where he was now. Not that now was all bad but there is something to be said for developing one’s life accordingly.
Sandy opened her fortune and read it aloud, “Change or be changed.” It was a little more ominous sounding they both agreed but both of them being Scorpio’s this kind of “sign”wasn’t lost on them. They sat in silence for a while. Then almost in unison they meet each other’s gaze and began a deep and reflective conversation about what they saw in the other as stuck or stagnant. They brainstormed some constructive ways to make small but significant shifts.
Sagittarius & Sagittarius Rising
What else is there?! She yelled, though she didn’t mean to, she was just so excited. “What else is worth fighting for, breathing for, living for or better yet, dying for? What else could be as important as feeling like you are doing the thing that you were made to do? I am not talking about money. I am not talking about praise. I am not talking about immortality or even recognition. I am talking about that internal experience of bliss that connects to an action, to a purpose to a mode of self-expression that lets you know that you are more than just a parasitic organism sucking the earth dry of all her resources. A moment of meaning that elevates your life to also contain some truth, some purpose, and some unique function.”
She was exhausting him, but she didn’t care. He had exhausted every inch of her physical form and she was having a natural intellectual response to all of the inventive love they had just shared. She wondered if he really understood her, she wondered how long this situation would last. Then she realized that she didn’t really care. There was something much more interesting brewing within her. She wasn’t trying to be callous about it but there were ways in which her lovers helped her get to some very important primal expressive energy. As long as their agreements were clean, clear and doable, all was fair in love. “Love,” she thought, “love.”
It was like a revelation, a moment of recognition, perhaps even of clarity. “Love is also worthy of efforts. Honest love is worth the struggle, the effort and the compromise since the return was is so great.”She wondered if she was ready for something deeper, something more complex; something more threatening perhaps. She wondered who would meet her in a partnership so it could be one, truly. She knew others in her tribe that were there, in Loveland and it looked good, though not easy. But nothing good ever is.
Capricorn & Capricorn Rising
“The most important thing I can do is to do the things that I don’t want to do for fear of looking ridiculous, being vulnerable or losing face. The most important thing I can do is to break the patterns of staying silent when I would rather scream or remaining stagnantly stuck when I know I need to move. The most important thing that I can do is to practice standing back, allowing the powers that be to crack my faulty foundation so that I might learn something about true stability. Right now I need to look at the patterns that are survival responses to the uncertainty of my childhood and hold myself accountable to their ongoing dominance and control of my life. Right now I am cracking the code of a lengthy DNA strand which is no small job, but one that I am up for. Right now what is being illuminated is my long and winding history. Not so that I will remain trapped in it but so that I may move with consciousness through its trappings. I see you, Lunar Eclipse, coming round the bend on April 15th with your plans to grow me into my Tenth House of career and public life. I know that the more I clear up in my private life now the more positively and constructively I will be able to put you to use. I know this, all of this, is for my betterment. I know life isn’t personal. I know that the only person worth impressing is me. Bearing that fact in mind, I go forth this week keeping watchful eye on my inner process. I stay aware to my responses to difficult historical trauma being triggered in the present and my triumphs over my inner demons and demonesses. I periodically pause to reflect on whether I am being kind to myself in this process. When I am not I wait until I am.” She said this to herself, on the daily.
Aquarius & Aquarius Rising
“It’s like having a lightning storm in my mind,” Jake said. She was attempting to convey to her platonic life partner, Zee, exactly what the astrology was like, but it was difficult. “The sun is squaring Jupiter, conjoining Uranus and then squaring Pluto all in our Third House of communication. I’m afraid to open my mouth. Who knows what will fly out? My tongue is a live wire.” Zee nodded in agreement but said nothing.
A fellow Aquarius, Zee wasn’t speaking much these days even though the astrology pointed to a torrent of fervent speech. Zee simply didn’t know what to say. So much was crumbling, rumbling and shifting there didn’t seem to be much worthwhile to say anymore. Instead Zee mostly tried to appreciate the thunderstorm of furious thoughts that occupied the brain. It wasn’t pleasant, per say, but it was entertaining given an appropriate distance. There were conversations that Zee had been forced to have with loved ones lately that left only tears in the fabric that had connected them. It seemed reckless, useless even at times to live like this but there was nothing else to do.
“When one finds themselves on the rocky road of an April such as this, there is only one thing to do: as little damage as possible,” Zee thought. Jake was still rambling on about how this Third House activation was causing issues with her brother, her neighbor and her bike route to school. Zee listened, from a distance. Being a Saturn ruled sign there was often a caution, a withholding or a tempered affect to their mannerisms that could be misread as being aloof. It didn’t feel aloof though, not on the inside. On the inside Zee was watching the thunderstorms of an emerging consciousness roll into view. There was some fear, there was some trepidation. There was also the possibility of something that fit much better than the present circumstance. That was worth waiting around to see what exactly would unfold. Besides, there was nothing else one could do.
Pisces & Pisces Rising
In the top floor apartment of Pisces Place, Jemma had cranked up the volume to “Ruby Lee” by Bill Withers. It had been such a long time since a piece of music had asked him to dance. As he swiveled and swayed to the liquid heartbreak of Sir Withers, the wondrous Wanda who lived directly below him had Viva Tirado by El Chicano blasting in her headphones (she preferred an intimate listening session that no one else was privy to).
She unrolled brown craft paper that was soon to become the host of her latest manifesto, fully equipped with declarations of love, sacred images of all the things she wished to call into her life. Symbols that drew these things to her and all things that made her mind spiral out into hopeful stratospheres. The building manager, Angel, who lived on the first floor, was getting ready to perform in the weekly drag show at the bar/community center down the street. Angel had pulled out all the stops; this was an over the top and back again, tour de force, ready to rock the crowd and roll the dice affair. High fashion fantasy, bravery realness at its best and it was coming to the corner with no apologies. On the second floor Sky and Ali were completely oblivious to any music besides the harmonious moaning that escaped through the doorway of their bedroom. It had been far too long since this dynamic duo had found the time they needed to say a proper hello and they wasted no time with words. No one wondered why they had such a sudden burst of creative inspiration and romantic readiness. No one cared. No one noticed their new neighbor, the vivacious, victorious, voluptuous, validating and invigorating Venus who had moved into the penthouse suite. She was content to remain unseen. Besides, she’d only be in town for the next month anyway. But that was how she rolled. She didn’t appreciate being held captive by whiny brats who pleaded for only pretty pleasures. She’d rather grant graces to the unassuming, it was cleaner that way.
For more information please visit Chani’s personal blog, UntilTheStarsFallFromTheSky, or for personal astrology readings please contact Chani directly at chani [at]

Professor Teaches Wrong Class All Semester, Students Fail
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