How cute—NOPE. My heart would fall out of my butthole if this happened to me. Caitlyn Metzker was already accepted into the University of South Carolina when her boyfriend, her actual, already boyfriend, Dylan decided it would be sooooo funny if he got creative when he asked her to prom. So cute, Dylan, hahahaha, I’d murder you, but adorable.
Dylan typed up a formal letter rescinding Caitlyn’s acceptance to USC because that’s so cute, hahaha omg, so adorable ^________^. I WOULD DIE.
The official looking letter read, “Unfortunately, it is clear that your grades are not what they were when we accepted you . . . It saddens us to say that your admission is in jeopardy, and we may have to pull our admission from you due to your poor school ethic and attendance.”
The letter continues to list Caitlyn’s offenses but then ends with, “However, if you were to just agree to go to prom with your boyfriend we could reconsider letting you continue to be a South Carolina Gamecock. So what do you say, will you go to prom with me?”
I would be sobbing. Screaming. Yelling for my mommy. Dylan wrote, “P.S. Sorry if I scared you, hopefully you still like me and said yes to prom.” How cute. I would be dead. He’d have to take a zombie to prom. I wouldn’t be mad at him, I’d be six feet under. He’s trying to be clever and funny but I’d be dead. I wouldn’t be able to be upset at him because I’d just be dead anyway.
Caitlyn tweeted, “Oh my god Dylan. Thank you for the heart attack #prom.” The letter went viral and was retweeted thousands. Obviously all is forgiven and two went to prom together or maybe, just maybe, she is dead because I would be so dead.