After rereading past Bold Girls’ Bibles, I admit I felt a little pathetic. I remember the days of early college when I would go out Thursday-Sunday and still be able to get up in time for my 9 a.m. class. Those days are sadly gone. I’ve moved on from the wild days of yore and now feel hungover after a few glasses of wine. I used to show up to my campus job with crazy stories of pictures with strangers and doing the worm at a karaoke bar. Now I have a real person job. I’m the youngest in my office. And they are all waiting for me to get married. Somewhere between turning 21 and recently turning 23, I turned 50.
I realize it’s not all my fault. I have had to buckle down this past year and really concentrate on school. I’m taking 18 credits and finishing my degree in August. Most of my friends have real people jobs and have moved away to the big city, the big city being my hometown which is 45 minutes away. When I walk into my old favorite haunts all I see are youths everywhere and I resent them. Oh you think you’re cool for doing eight shots of fireball. Well I’ve been there and had that hangover, I think as I silently judge them. While it’s all fine and dandy that I’d rather spend Saturday morning sleeping in than drinking keg beer at a 7 a.m. tailgate, I think it’s important to remember that I’m only in my early 20s once. I have my whole life to sit around and binge on Netflix, and I should let loose every once in a while.
So that’s what I’m trying to do, and hopefully you guys can hold me accountable. Now that my classes are officially done for a little while, I think I’ll have more time to go and be young. I’m starting with getting myself healthy. I think loving myself and being confident is the first step to feeling my age. Plus, I’ve got to feel comfortable in a bikini this summer so I can spend my last real summer ever doing every summer-y thing ever. I’m revamping my wardrobe. I’m moving. I’m cleaning everything I own.
I don’t want to lose my integrity or completely undo years of maturing. But I do think we need to let loose. And I think a lot of people in relationships suffer the same problems. Basically, we start hibernating like bears once boyfriends come around. So I think it’s time that Stephen and I make having a good time a priority in our relationship. I’ve been planning more spontaneous dates than the usual dinner at our favorite spot. We’re going out with couples and doing coupley things like hitting up the Omaha Zoo (which is actually amazing). But we’re also doing it the way 23 year olds are supposed to – by shotgunning beers in the parking lot.
Basically, what I want is to have my cake and eat it too. I want to be mature and stupid. I want to have a 9-5 job but never graduate college. Bold Girls know what they want, and what I want is to grow up – but maybe when I’m like…25.
Molly is a senior journalism/English major at a school you haven’t heard of in a state you haven’t heard of. She’s obsessed with Chandler Bing, English bulldogs, and cheese. Follow her on twitter @mollymahannah, or check out her website accordingtomolly.com.