My mum is not a girly girl. She likes running through muddy puddles, doesn’t wear make-up and hates shopping. When I was younger, this infuriated me. What was a mother for, if not to teach me how to do my hair and take me shopping for my first bra? Who was going to instruct me on plucking my eyebrows and finding the right shade of lipstick? I felt like I was missing out on the typical mum I saw on TV, and blamed her for both my mullet-esque haircut and the fact that I shaved off half of my eyebrow. I thought that if she didn’t know about fashion and all that girly stuff, she had nothing to teach me.
It turns out, she was actually teaching me a whole lot.
First of all, by not giving me all the essential lessons to being a girly girl, my mum sent me straight off to books and magazines for answers. In my bookshelf, I found stories of love and loss. In the glossy pages of Elle and Cosmo, I found tips on winged eyeliner, more sex education than I ever learned at school, and my future career. My mum taught me to love learning and to find my own answers. She instilled in me the idea that if I didn’t know something, I could go and find it out on my own rather than waiting around for someone to tell me. She has made me into an independent shopper, a knowledge-hungry reader and an expert wielder of liquid eyeliner.
Some of my mum’s lessons were hard to learn. When my mum told me she was suffering from depression, it was upsetting, and frustrating. I couldn’t help wondering if I was somehow the cause of it, or questioning why she couldn’t just be happy. What was I doing wrong? Why had she told me? Over time, I realized how strong she had been; firstly to survive for years with depression, secondly to tell me, and finally to work every day on overcoming it. The fact that my mum went to work every day and cooked dinner for the family every evening is incredible. She showed me the reality of living with depression – it’s horrible – but in the process taught me that asking for help when you need it is one of the bravest things you can do, and that just continuing to live while your brain is telling you to sleep for hours or worse, is the strongest.
My mum never had to sit me down and lecture me to teach me something important. Instead, she would just show me, or let me figure it out on my own. She was there for me when it mattered, and gave me space when I needed it. She taught me enough so that I knew I could survive on my own, so that I didn’t need her, but showed me that if I ever did, she would be there. She’s taught me everything I need to be happy and successful, but showed me that if I have moments of weakness, that’s okay too.
Everything that I am today is in thanks to my mum. She is why I am independent, why I love to learn, why I’m ambitious. She’s also why I’m understanding, thoughtful and always there for a friend, the same way she was there for me. She taught me that I can overcome any hurdle and work out any problem I face. Because of her, I run through every muddy puddle in my path.
(Ps. My eyebrow eventually grew back, so her lack of tweezing advice is forgiven.)
[Lead image via prudkov/Shutterstock]
Everything My Mum Has Taught Me So Far
