I often wonder if happiness is real. That’s going to sound cynical but humor me. I get happy all the time. The smallest, dumbest things can make me happy in an instant. A text from the right person, cheese, a puppy, a good laugh, all of these things make me happy and can literally turn a bad day into a good day. But you know what? A rude person, a horrible news story, a bad sandwich can make me upset just as easily. It’s normal to have reactions and feelings about what’s happening around you. It’s a part of being a responsive human being.
That’s why I have a difficult time understanding this whole “pursuit of happiness” thing. Being happy all the time isn’t necessarily a good thing or at least, it’s not a possible thing, right? Eating cake and watching TV all day, everyday, would make me happy but I can’t just slob my way through life sucking up resources. There are other ways to make yourself feel good too that don’t involve pleasure-seeking like volunteering, charity work, good conversation or helping a friend. Yet, food, communication and altruism isn’t something that we can do consistently at all moments of the day.
Being a person is hard. It’s difficult. I don’t care what color your skin is, how much money you have, I don’t care if you’re Angelina Jolie or Jane Doe, a man or a woman, queer or straight, being a person is difficult. A part of being an adult is doing things you don’t want to do because people rely on you and because you have to rely on yourself. How many days of the week do you wish you could just have a break from responsibility and take a nap? Responsibilities suck and even the ones that are supposed to be rewarding like having a significant other or raising a child still present a lot of challenges that are unpredictable, unprecedented and just a bummer to have to deal with.That doesn’t make life miserable, of course not.
This thing we’re doing, life, is totally worth living. I am saying, I don’t think one day we’re going to wake up and suddenly feel bliss every single day. We have blissful moments. Blissful feelings but a constant sense of euphoria? Me thinks not. I think at some point we can hope that if we have hangups and pain and insecurities that does will fade and the wounds will heal. I think what we are really can achieve is acceptance and peace. Even people who have the best lives have challenges and bad days. I think the closest we can get to self-actualization is accepting what we can’t change and changing what we can. To me, it’s all about accepting that what you have at any given moment is enough but most of all that you are enough at any given moment. I am turning twenty-five this year and I can feel my attitudes about certain things changing. People call me cynical, I call myself realistic, but if you can even imagine a harsher version of me, ole’ Emerald has actually mellowed out a bit.
The biggest source of my angst and cynicism is worrying. I worry about the world, my family, my friends I worry, worry, worry. I worry: am I good enough? I worry: am I smart enough? I worry: am I attractive enough? I worry: what will I do when my parent’s die? I worry: what will happen if . . . It gets me nowhere, all this worrying. The only moments in life where I actually achieved anything is when I stopped worrying and started acting.
It doesn’t matter if you are scared, it doesn’t matter if you are scared the whole time and afterwards, fear cannot be the thing that stops you from getting what you want and becoming the best version of yourself. Don’t be afraid, just be. Be the hero you wish existed when you were a kid.
8 Things You Should Stop Worrying About Because You'll Figure It All Out
