Being young ain’t easy. Yet we live in a culture that’s obsessed with never growing old. Instead of praising older people we tend to dismiss their ideas as stupid, their bodies as ugly, we spend thousands of dollars to put them in old folks’ homes because they are “no longer useful,” companies almost never hire older people and all too often we youngsters don’t take them seriously. Look, there is a reason why we grow old and die, it’s not just physiological. People need to die and their ideas need to die with them, young people push progress forward. When all of these old dudes get out of the White House the world is going to look mighty different. Nevertheless, it’s all too easy to reduce older people to what they can’t do instead of what they bring to the table which is life experience, wisdom and in many ways, the lives we aspire to have someday.
So why the rant on our elders? Because your mentor must be older than you. Someone your age is your peer. Now, you should have peers to support and share experiences with but a mentor will make you better because they have knowledge that you don’t. I’ve had a lot of mentors in my life and I know wholeheartedly that I would have so much less without them. Here is a criteria for choosing the right mentor.
1.) They Must Be Older: Even just five years is a huge difference. Wisdom is essential to anyone’s development because it provides information that you don’t have yet. An older person can tell you that it’s normal to stress at your age but ultimately not that big of deal because you’re doing fine. They can reassure you when you’re confused but most importantly they’re not afraid to challenge you when you’re floundering.
2.) Do They Have What You Want?: If you’re a writer having a mentor who is a marine biologist will provide you with some information but not necessarily the guidance you need. Choose someone who has achieved a lot of the things that you want because they can provide insight on how to get there, what it’s like, what to expect and how to prepare.
3.) Do They Want To Be Your Mentor?: Do not choose a reluctant mentor. If you’ve got your eye on a professor or internship supervisor and they are unresponsive to your emails, dismissive of your questions or generally unavailable they cannot be your mentor because, well, they don’t want to be. There are people who are into helping others and there are people who don’t have the time, patience or willingness to do so. Don’t waste your time and move on.
4.) Look In The Right Places: You can find a mentor anywhere but your best bet is a college professor or supervisor at your internship. These professionals are accustomed to working with young people and haven’t forgotten what it’s like to be in your shoes. Still, you can meet a mentor through a family friend or you can reach out to someone you look up to in hopes they’ll write back.
5.) There’s No Mentor Maximum: It’s totally OK to have more than one mentor. The more insight the better, right? Different mentors may be good at different kinds of advice. You may have a mentor who is great at helping you with your career and one who is great at listening to your non-work issues. Just make sure you choose someone you like that rooting for you.
