Single Girl Myths Debunked, Vol. III [Diary of the Undateable]

I’ve been dating – and I use that term loosely – for a good two years now. And if you’ve been reading, then most of it has been rather unsuccessful. At first, I approached the dating game the way that I thought was best: honestly. I didn’t lie to guys about my experience (or lack thereof). Didn’t play games with my phone calls and text message responses, didn’t even lie on my OkCupid profile! Transparency was the name of my game, and I thought that it would pay off. My friends told me that nice girls like me are the ones who get trampled over. So this year, I’ve been a good girl gone bad. Like Rihanna’s asymmetrical cut era (no, but really, I did actually cut my hair). I’m treating guys the way that they treat me.
A while back, I created a little trick that helps me get over a guy who I shouldn’t even be on in the first place. If he’s not calling or texting, I just block his number. It’s a coping mechanism. I’m that girl who’s attached to her phone and can even hear it vibrate from another room. If it’s in my hand, then I respond as soon as possible. Having my phone blow up from people who aren’t who I want to hear from is torture. My heart skips a beat and I rush to swipe and open up my messages – and it ends up being my mom or something. Sigh.
When I block a guy, I don’t have to go through the motions of hoping and thinking that it’s him. Because it isn’t. Because he can’t get through to me. When I block him on Facebook, I don’t have to obsess about whether his last wall post linking to a song or alluding to being annoyed is my doing. Out of sight, out of mind. I mean, I thought that it worked out for both parties…he’s not getting bugged, and I’m getting over him.
Just recently, I blocked a guy who just wasn’t that into me…or so I thought. We talked for months and generally got along pretty well with each other. I was really feeling him…obviously a lot more than he was feeling me. I wanted to see him more and wanted him to call me once in a while versus occasional dates and sporadic texts. After a three day space of no communication at all, I blocked his number. It’s not like he was contacting me anyway, you know?
On a whim – and because I missed him – I unblocked him. I don’t know why…I didn’t have the balls to ask him what happened, and he clearly didn’t care either. But a week after I unblocked his number, a text from the weekend that I blocked it came through. It’s a single girl myth, debunked…BLOCKED TEXTS CAN BE RECOVERED.
I think that it’s probably too late to fix things with dude…I tried texting and apologizing for my belated response, and I’m still waiting for a reply. That ship’s probably sailed and docked on another girl’s island. Sigh. SIGH.
I miss my guy, but I’ve learned a valuable lesson in all of this. My friend Tranessa always criticizes me for hopping on the block bandwagon.
“Just ignore his text if he hits you up,” she once told me in her favorite damn Khalea, you’re so stupid tone. “You can’t just brick people out of your life.”
I miss dude a lot, but I’ve learned a valuable lesson. Though fate may supersede the block that you place, it’s not worth that gamble. Blocking only makes it hurt more instead of help.
When she’s not watching for Blue Ivy sightings or doing some serious Facebook creeping, Khalea, a recent Howard University graduate, moonlights as an editorial assistant in New York City. Follow her on Twitter at @letsbeKHAlear, or feel free to Twatch. Whatever works for you.

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