College is different for everyone but for those who took it as an opportunity to get all that boinking out of their system, it’s a high stakes game of doing it in strange places and hoping not to get caught. Obviously, it should go without saying that, you shouldn’t do anything you’re not comfortable doing. Not ever. Send your bae packing to #NopeCity if you have to. But for those who are interested in tasting the forbidden fruit of awkward boning in weird positions in all the places you should not have bare butt cheeks, then you’ve come to the right place! These are the 5 places you’ll probably bone (without getting caught) on campus.
The Library
When I attended Sarah Lawrence College my first year of college, there were two places people would boink in the library. First of all there was the pillow room: a giant room full of bean bag chairs wear people could sleep. Then there was the private study room which also had bean bag chairs. In the private rooms there were literally tally marks and tags written on the walls detailing who had boned in there and when. Just keep the books clean, kids.
The Communal Showers
There’s that urban legend about colleges leaving signs to prevent dudes from fapping in the showers because the jizz was clogging the plumbing. You can be sure the communal showers are hookup city at your school. Shower sex can be a little difficult, especially when drunk, things get slippery, it’s hard to position yourself—don’t break a hip and please wear flip flops.
The Parking Lot
You’re driving back to campus when bae does that thing that you like. Next thing you know campus is security is holding a flashlight to your car window and you have a lot of explaining to do.
The Common Area
You stumble into the dormitory drunk, you get off the elevator, you see a sofa—you must be home? You start bumping uglies. “Is that Pedro from down the hall? Is that the RA? Why are all these people in my room?”
The Elevator
Life would not be complete without trying to get a penis into an orifice in the 50 seconds it takes to get from the ground level to the 12th floor. At the very least use his D to push the button then giggle the rest of the way.
