Okay literally every stupid sitcom from Frasier to Modern Family has the running gag of a woman asking her man if she looks fat in some get up. He says no, but hesitates, and she spends the rest of the episode at the gym or something. It’s tired. But the reason it gets a laugh every time is because women still do this to the men in their life. Are you gasping and rolling your eyes yet? You should be.
For 30 weeks now I’ve been teaching you how to be a bold and empowered woman. At least, I hope I’ve been teaching you that. Bold and empowered women don’t ask men if they look fat. The reasons are three-fold.
One – How do you expect him to answer? You know he’s going to say that you don’t look fat. Are you genuinely expecting him to tell you that you do look fat? What would you do with that information? Most likely, you’d start a fight based on your insecurities and end up changing your outfit 400 more times until you go with your go-to black dress. It is, just like the sitcoms, tired. Why trap your man like that? I preach open and honest communication with significant others. If an opinion about the dress is what you’re looking for ask instead, “Do you prefer this dress to the other one?” Ask in specifics. No man, or human for that matter, is going to tell someone they love that they look fat.
Two – He loves you, he doesn’t think you’re fat. No matter how big you are, your significant other is attracted to you. That’s why they decided to date you. Dating typically comes with sex? Right? If he’s sleeping with you he finds you attractive. Yes, you might be insecure about the way your tummy rolls or whatever, but I can tell you he doesn’t see that when he looks at you. If every girl could see herself the way the person she loves sees her, the world would be a better place.
Three – Who cares if you look fat!? If I’ve learned one thing, wearing confidence shakes haters. Maybe that red dress hugs your legs a little too snuggly; throw on a pair of heels and work it if that’s what you want to wear. If you feel insecure, change. Asking if you look fat means you’re not sure about an outfit. Then wear something you are sure about and boost that self-esteem.
I would classify myself as a woman of average weight and physical wow-factor. There’s nothing particularly special about me. But I can tell you I have the biggest ego of any woman I’ve ever met. And that confidence? It’s helped me nab all the men who’ve had the pleasure of taking me out on a date. Confidence is the sexiest thing you can wear.
Molly is a senior journalism/English major at a school you haven’t heard of in a state you haven’t heard of. She’s obsessed with Chandler Bing, English bulldogs, and cheese. Follow her on twitter @mollymahannah, or check out her website accordingtomolly.com.