Lesson #31: Never Borrow Someone Else’s Relationship Timeline [Bold Girls’ Bible]

I’ve always been the kind of girl to do things when I felt them rather than when someone told me to do them. If I’m not in love with a boy, I have no problem holding off on saying it, even if he’s said it to me. Or on the flip side, I don’t particularly have a problem saying “I love you” first. I know that, personally, I’d like to wait before I’ve at least got a job before I move in with Stephen. I tend to move pretty slow in a relationship because feelings are the worst. When things get too intense I literally melt into the fetal position and throw my phone across the room. That’s how I handle things. I know I’m crazy.

My sister and her boyfriend of like 7/8 months (sorry, Meg, don’t know how long you’ve been together) moved in together at the end of May. It’s going really well for them. My old roommate also moved in with her boyfriend of roughly the same time at the beginning of May. It’s going well for them. That’s not for me, but that’s ok! They are clearly a lot braver than I am, and they know what’s right in their relationship.

However, that didn’t stop my mom, and literally everybody, from telling my sister she was moving too quickly with this boy. It’s really hard for people to understand that not everyone has the same relationship timeline. Mine moves slowly. My sister and her boyfriend will probably be engaged by Christmas. And that doesn’t mean that Meg is more in love with her boyfriend than I am. Or than anyone.

It actually doesn’t mean anything other than that Meg was ready to move in with Nan. Nobody can tell you how to live in your relationship by yourself. If moving in, or moving across the country or not moving in is your gut reaction go with it. Nobody knows your relationship like you do, and if you think it’s the right move it probably is. The people who are stressing about moving too quickly or not quickly enough are only worried because they love you. If you end up making the wrong decision it’s okay because the people who love you will be there to help you through the mess.

Molly has a degree in journalism/English at a school you haven’t heard of in a state you haven’t heard of. She’s obsessed with Chandler Bing, English bulldogs, and cheese. Follow her on twitter @mollymahannah, or check out her website accordingtomolly.com.

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