Funny story: Last weekend, my best girlfriend, boyfriend and his best guy friend decided it would be a SUPER cool idea to break into a pool. Like my public apartment outdoor pool that locks at 9:30pm.
Even funnier story: While breaking in (and climbing over a retaining wall and steel fence onto a large garbage can), the garbage can slipped from under my feet as I straddled the fence to escape. The story continues with a painful twist. I slammed my beloved crotch against that fence so hard, my boyfriend pulled an Ironman to save me and I have the biggest, bawdiest bruise on my inner thigh; so dark and fierce you’d think I rode a rhino across the Sahara desert. Are there rhinos there? I don’t care.
Story lesson: Do stupid shit like that. You only get one life.
From one twenty-something to another, break into a pool and fall off a garbage can while doing it.
Rule #183: Spend your money on experiences, not things.
Yea, those shoes at Francesca’s are really super cute, WE GET IT. I GET IT. I buy shoes all the time. However, we need to start spending my money on other things like concerts, trips, road trips, plays and sporting events. Why? An experience is priceless. Shoes are OK for two to three wears and then you’re buying another pair at Sears a week later. I say Sears because it’s not worth it.
Rule #184: Try to not complain for one day. Then two. Then three….
Because the first day you’ll realize you are WHINY B*TCH. And hopefully, after day two and three, you’ll realize you pick up a healthy habit called “letting it go.”
Rule #185: At your job, over-communicate professionally and under-communicate personally.
Even if you feel like you’re sending a pointless email and you think your co-worker already knows the information you’re sending, send it anyway. Over communicating is the best policy. However, don’t tell your boss about how much your period is making your uterus throb like a pulsing demon. THAT can be filed away for random complaints to your mom and your inner self.
Rule #186: When in doubt, wear red and listen to Def Leopard.
BOOM, you’re an unstoppable bombshell.
Rule #187: If you wouldn’t wish them happy birthday on Facebook, you probably shouldn’t be friends.
A work friend of mind has this system where she de-friends people she wouldn’t wish a “Happy Birthday” to on Facebook. This is an interesting and brutal system, but it works. We aren’t meant to have 3,000 friends. At least, scientifically that sounds stressful. Simplify your life. Make it more private. Value important relationships. Don’t get caught up in the mindless ones. Especially the ones posting pictures of their emotionless cat every day.
Rule #188: Spend money like you have $30 in your checking account.
AKA don’t spend money.
Rule #189: No one in the world has the right to undervalue you.
And THAT is a wrap.
Approach Adulthood with a Childhood Twist [Twenty-Something Rules]
