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Angeljesus, Albino and Icy Are Just Some Of The Worst Baby Names Of 2014



Today compiled a list of the worst names from the bottom of the U.S. Popular Names List curated by the social security administration. There’s a reason why some of those names are not popular. I have to say there is no worse name then “Brad.” You always want to punch Brad in the face. You always to say, “Ugh, shut up, Brad.” It’s simply every human’s physiological response to being around someone named Brad.

These names sound like Twitter usernames or the email addresses you wouldn’t put on a job application. “Yes, I’m Emerald but you can email me at

Let us take a closer look at some of these names.

“Trejure” as in “treasure,” as in, it is such a treasure that your parents do not value you, Trejure.

“Icy,” as in you are going to be such a cold bitch, “Icy.”

“Kouture,” as in your parents can not afford couture. OR. Your parents can afford couture because they are very wealthy celebrities who give their kids dumb names.

“Albino,” as in why didn’t my parents name me, “Regular Brown?”

“Furious,” as in you better watch your temper because expectations are low.

“Angeljesus,” as in I’m sorry but WTF? You were just so holy, bb that we had to smoosh the two names together because one name was simply not enough to encompass how freaking godly you are. I cannot wait to vote for President Angeljesus.


1. Trejure
2. Ransom
3. Gunner
4. Icy
5. Kouture


1. Albino
2. Craven
3. Furious
4. Angeljesus
5. Anass (Eds. note from Today: This is actually a variant of a common Arabic name, Anas. Now I’m crying a little inside for all the immigrant parents who name their child something that means “friendliness” and can’t understand why everyone is laughing.)


Emerald is an editor at CollegeCandy, lover of coffee, and pretend francophile. After studying writing and popular culture at NYU she decided to be a grownup and get a job. Tweet at ya' girl @EmeraldGritty.