I can’t believe I “try” and give you all advice every week in these Twenty-Something Rules articles. I’m kind of a moron sometimes, and I definitely go to my mother once a week crying about how stupid I am for saying something ridiculous or for being overly dramatic. But here’s the thing — let’s think of this as my opportunity to “share” information. I’m wise in my own right, but the things I learn throughout my twenty-something years are valuable and sometimes hilarious. Here’s to a full decade of lesson-riddance stupidity!
From one twenty-something to another, let’s keep sharing the brutal and hilarious twenty-something goods.
Rule #197: Say ‘no’ to social events you don’t give a sh*t about.
Don’t attend anything you REALLY don’t want to attend. Would you rather fart on your couch and read a book? Then do that. You don’t need to be included in everything. Wine and cheese night with the girls will happen 100 more times.
Rule #198: Put away your 10-year plan.
Because you never know when it’s going to blow up in your face. Have goals but screw the plan. Things happen as they come and you’re going to be even more disappointed if you set fairytale standards. Please note, I am not saying you should sit down and let opportunities come your way. Sun Chips and New Girl re-runs are not going to get you there. Just know what you want to accomplish and work hard for it. Easy on the marriage age, number of kids you want and what kind of man you want to marry, OK?
Rule #199: Don’t crave constant affirmation.
Everybody in your life loves you; and the ones that will love you forever will love you no matter what. So stop craving extra attention, affirmation and personal verification that you are an OK person. You’re wasting your energy.
Rule #200: Keep the umbilical cord off Facebook.
Honest to Betsy, I saw an UMBILICAL CORD on my Facebook news-feed the other day. First of all, who in their right mind thinks it’s OK to post a photo while they’re pushing a human out of a tiny part of their body? Second of all, enjoy your life; ESPECIALLY while giving life to someone else.
Rule #201: To do lists are cocaine.
Aside from the “giving you structure” part, making to-do lists are like a drug. I LOVE THEM. If you are any type of person, they should be part of your every day. I’m kind of a psycho about it, but you can find a healthy medium. Seriously, I’ll write a detailed list on how I’m going to clean my apartment.
Rule #202: Compliment your significant other once a day.
You don’t have to get creepy about this one, just take a moment each day to say something kind to your man or lady friend. It could be as simple as “I’m so glad you tell me fart jokes every day.” Make it count. A little snippet of love every day can go a long way.
Rule #203: Understand your top three values in life and base your goals and success on them.
I took a “Leadership Based on Values” class the other day (don’t ask) and I found out the top three values in my life are: Passion, Kindness and Patience. We did exercises where we named things that bothered us, described a peak time in our life and described personal pet peeves. These things eventually shaped values we found most important in our lives. Values drive you; they carry you through life. Sorry this is getting deep, but I found it pretty special to understand why I work where I do, why I love who I love. Know these things. They will make you feel empowered.
A Humbling Ten Year Lesson [Twenty-Something Rules]
