Autumn is inarguably the best season, and it’s a widely accepted fact that one needs an Autumn Boyfriend in order to properly enjoy this golden time of year. I’m all for being a strong, independent woman — don’t get me wrong — but everyone’s favorite fall activities are just so much better when there’s a cute guy in a sweater chillin’ next to you. Apple picking, hayrides, corn mazes — are these really things we want to be tackling alone, anyway? (God, getting lost in a corn maze by myself is legitimately the scariest and most depressing thing I can think of. Better go grab a PSL quick before I get the sads.)
Two very smart women in New York City posted an ad on Craigslist seeking some qualified men to spend their -ber months with (that’s September, October, November, December for you autumn novices). Their stipulations are strict, and some might accuse these ladies of being unrealistic or overreaching or misguided. Hogwash. The only thing I can accuse them of is trying to track down the most perfect man who ever existed, and really, what’s the crime in that?
Here’s their list of reqs, courtesy of Jezebel who found the CL post:
Seeking Fall Boyfriends
2 smart, funny, attractive girls each looking for a fall boyfriend with chill group of bro friends, now is the time you must start dating someone in order to spend the holidays together/go on ski trips/have a NYE kiss you’re stoked on.
Labor Day has happened, we are saying goodbye and filtering out our casual summer, meet up at 2 a.m. hook ups and are looking for boys we might be able to stand being sober around.
Needed: 2 males interested in something steady/serious-ish as the weather fades from hot, humid, and care-free to crisp, chill Patagonia vest season. Interested parties should have a window in their bedroom and want to cuddle with the window slightly open to let the fresh autumn air in while a fall scented candle (that I’ll buy for you, babe) fills the room with cozy comfort.
Requirements
Chill group of guy friends (preference will be given to bros who come from the same group of friends, just because that makes it easier and more fun for double date brunching)
27 and older
6 feet or taller (if you’re 5’11” but have a personality to make up for the height difference, willing to consider it. Any shorter? Don’t apply.)
Wardrobe should include: Driving mocs, Barbour coat, Half-Zips (at least 3, please send pics if possible), Ray-Bans (Wayfarers or Clubmastesr preferred, but open to other styles), loafers, Patagonia vest(s), Vineyard Vines, basketball shorts for me to sleep in
College education. Ivy league preferred. Def in a frat or played a sport (lacrosse, crew, tennis, etc.)
Probs spent at least 4 weekends in Montauk over the summer
Activities can include but are not limited to
Apple Picking
Sunday Fundays
Borrowing your pullover and returning it after an indecent amount of time, if at all
Taking selfies in Patagonia vests/taking selfies while doing all activities #fall #boyfriendweather
Watching football (aka me getting drunk while you watch football, and you thinking it’s so adorable when I wear jeans and Converse to the bar and get blackout in your team’s hat.) *sneakers show how chill and laid back I am < this is why it’s kinda essential for the two boys to be friends so me and my friend can blackout together and I won’t get bored.
Cooking – Instagramming dish with captions such as “Fall night with my babe @yourhandle *heart emoji all the fall emojis*”
Brunching outdoors until weather permits
Strange how the night moves, with autumn closing in
(If you don’t know that song, don’t apply)
Looking forward to meeting you!
And while I swear that I didn’t pen this beautiful list of criteria, I wish that I had. From one 27 year-old fall enthusiast to two others — good luck, girls! Your Autumn Boyfriends are out there.
[Lead image via gpointstudio/Shutterstock]
