I can say with confidence that I have never gotten back together with an ex. I’m of the mindset that once you date someone and break up there’s no reason to get back together. Also, I’ve had three serious relationships in my 23 years of life. One of those boys started dating someone, like, the next day after we broke up. The other one cheated on me all over the place and the third hasn’t come to his senses and dumped me yet. So it’s not like I necessarily had the opportunity to get back together with an ex, but I’m totally against it on principle.
You’ve heard it before: there’s a reason you broke up. For the most part that’s true. I understand that sometimes people need to grow up or spend time apart but it’s really not for me. I’m Miss Movin’ On. Once I’ve been hurt there’s really no going back for me. It would be really hard for me to trust someone again after breaking up. Even if the breakup was mutual, I would always feel like I was walking on eggshells. I guess since neither one of my breakups was particularly amicable, it’s easy for me to say that. I’m not sure what it’s like when two people have a mutual break up but I suppose that musing is for another column.
But recycling boys can come in many different forms. In high school I remember a boy who always seemed to find me when things with other guys weren’t working out. I would get dumped and then like clockwork, two weeks later he would show up. We’d hang out for a week or two and go on a few dates. We’d chat at parties and hold hands during the movies and it never went anywhere. After a few weeks, we’d sort of flicker into just friends and it would happen all over again. I mean, at sixteen it’s really hard to be smart about boys but I had no idea why I was always rebounding with the same guy.
It wasn’t until years later when I was analyzing dating patterns that I realized that I might not have ever recycled boys, but it sure felt like it. It was weird how much the three boys that hurt me the most had so much in common. Eerie. It’s those red flags you shake off at first. It’s telling yourself that it’s just because you have a “type.” It’s a cycle of Justin Bobby/nice guy/Justin Bobby/nice guy until you go crazy. And it’s not worth it.
Reduce the amount of time you spend dating the same guy, even if he’s got a different name, over and over again. And only recycle boys if you’re sure they’ve changed. Actually, you better make sure you’ve changed a little too. But only in the good ways.

To read more Bold Girls’ Bible, see all past entries here!

Molly has a degree in journalism/English at a school you haven’t heard of in a state you haven’t heard of. She’s obsessed with Chandler Bing, English bulldogs, and cheese. Follow her on twitter @mollymahannah, or check out her website accordingtomolly.com.