Our resident Dude recently revealed 13 things men wish women knew about sex. Like everything our beloved Dude writes, his post was eye-opening and informative. It’s not new news that men and women approach sex differently, but he talked about the details that sometimes aren’t so easy to open up about. Things like what guys are literally thinking during sex, what makes sex good and what can ruin the moment in 5 seconds flat.
I’m here now to pay it forward to the fellas. I’ve talked to my girlfriends and together we’ve come up with the 13 things we’re dying to tell the men in our sex lives. Sometimes it’s hard to find the words to express ourselves in the moment, but sharing is caring. Here’s what we wish all men knew about sex.
1. It’s not that we don’t like giving blowjobs, you just need to make sure your junk is clean. I’m a huge fan of both giving and receiving oral sex. Men are really vocal about how they won’t go down on women who “smell funny” or “taste weird” — but women are expected to be enthusiastic about giving blowjobs regardless of the circumstances. Make our job (teehee) easier and make sure you’ve taken a shower recently. Manscaping, to any extent, is also always appreciated.
2. You’re not going to break us. Sometimes rough sex is just what we want.
3. Sometimes we just want to go to sleep afterwards. Stereotypes dictate that women are huge fans of pillow talks and cuddling. Want to know the truth, though? Sometimes we also just want to roll over to our side of the bed and pass the eff out. Sex is hard work and I have to be up for my 8AM class tomorrow.
4. Please stop ramming your penis into my cervix. I know it makes you feel like a manly man to go that deep, but it really hurts and kills the mood.
5. Clean sheets are always appreciated. You know what’s really sexy? Walking into a guy’s room and seeing his bed is completely clean. No piles of laundry, no weird stains, no food wrappers. And if you actually took the time to make your bed? Oh lord, I’m weak in the knees.
6. We want you to offer us a t-shirt to sleep in. In theory it’s sexy to sleep in just a bra and underwear, but that’s totally not comfy. Unless we’ve already fallen asleep naked, please offer us an oversize tee to snooze in.
7. Ask before you do anything crazy. Facials? Butt sex? Deep throating? Please ask loudly and clearly (and listen for an answer) before attempting any of these polarizing moves.
8. Don’t make us feel awkward when something embarrassing happens. We’re likely already mortified. Sex doesn’t always go to plan. People fart and get muscle cramps and fall off the bed. Brush it off and move on.
9. We’re telling our friends everything in the morning. It’s not cruel gossip, it’s female bonding. You can bet your life savings that our friends know about the Mickey Mouse shaped birthmark on your inner thigh, the way you make a funny giggle when you come and that you named your penis.
10. Call or text the next day. Unless it was a clear one night stand scenario, please be decent enough to shoot a “thanks, that was fun” text the next day. Nothing feels worse (except #4) than spending a fun night with a guy, getting your hopes up and then never hearing from him again. Let us down easy.
11. The 4th date rule is a lie. We might sleep with you on the first date. We might wait until the 100th date. Assuming that there’s a predetermined date where you’re magically going to get laid is basically setting yourself up for disappointment.
12. If something’s not working for us and we tell you that you can stop, don’t look so hurt. We’re not being mean, I promise. It’s just that we don’t want you putting all this effort and energy into something that definitely not getting us any closer to the finish line. Not every Cosmo sex tip is going to be the one that gets us off. Trial and error, baby.
13. Oral sex takes practice. Similar to #12, oral sex is extremely trial and error. Every woman is different, what worked for your ex might not work for us, yadda yadda. Just be prepared for some constructive criticism.
[Lead image via NAS CRETIVES/Shutterstock]