So, you just got a boyfriend and it actually feels like you won an award or something, because boyfriends always seemed like mythical creatures to you. If you’re one of those girls who spent college tiptoeing out of boys’ bedrooms with your heels in hand (no judgement), then there are some things that might come as a shock to you when you’re in a real, Facebook official, he actually uses the word “girlfriend” relationship. Don’t be alarmed, because you’ll actually get used to it — unless you’re scared to get used to it — but those are some next level issues that are more appropriate for your therapist to handle. Here are 7 things that happen in a committed relationship that will be a serious adjustment for the girl who spent her college years avoiding eye contact with last night’s hookup.
1. Texting rules go out the window.
There’s no more, “Who texted who last?” or waiting five minutes to respond. You can actually text him as much as you want and many times in a row. I mean, don’t go all Dean in Gilmore Girls, but you’re allowed to express all of your thoughts and feelings on why or why not it’s a good idea to get Thai food for dinner again.
2. This one is a little tough to hear, but … you might get a little bit fat.
Not sumo wrestler fat, but just like there’s the freshman fifteen, there’s also the new relationship five. Remember when you used to wake up at 6:00 a.m. and go to spinning before work? You know what’s better than that? Your bed with your boyfriend in it. You’ll excuse it by saying you’re burning calories from sex, but trust me, it might be worth sacrificing your reputation and joining CrossFit.
3. Your friends are going to kind of hate you.
Isn’t it understandable? They had unlimited access to you for years, and now you’re around half the time! When you are around, your phone is constantly buzzing with texts from your boyfriend that you read with a shit eating grin on your face. FYI: They get free reign to do it to you someday, so it all comes out in the wash.
4. 1AM is the new 4AM.
1AM is prowl time, and there’s nothing more boring for a person in a relationship than hanging out with friends while they’re trying to get laid. It’s less interesting than watching guys play video games. That late night exhaustion starts hitting you earlier than it used to, and all the sudden you’re thinking, “Well, bed with my boyfriend seems preferable to this right now.” Don’t worry, though, because you’re probably not as good of a wingman anymore, so you’re really just dead weight to your single friends.
5. You have a new Instagram muse.
Some people take pictures of their food, some take pictures of their pets, but now you have your boyfriend and he is endlessly adorable. Other people will roll their eyes at that picture you LOVE of him in front of that artsy mural in Brooklyn, but you’re making memories, so they’ll just have to suck it up, or unfollow you. As long as you don’t #MCM too much, you’re golden.
6. Phone calls will make a serious comeback in your life.
Phone calls. Yeah. A lot. Get used to it. You’re in contact with this person 98% of your day and sometimes it’s just easier to make plans over the phone. You’re actually going to use your phone the way it was intended to be used. It’s kind of retro.
7. No more games.
In fact, games will ruin a relationship. Being aloof and uninterested doesn’t fly when you’ve actually agreed to be open and attached to another person. Let your guard down, be yourself, and enjoy being obsessed with someone who’s also obsessed with you!
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