The Virgin Diaries: Alice, No Wonderland

There are two things every girl dreams about once the become a certain age: her wedding day and she first time she has sex. Needles to say (but I’m going to anyway,) I was no exception.
The difference between fantasizing about the two is a matter of tangibility. A normally socialized 12-year-old isn’t making vision boards out of pictures of the latest sex positions she clipped out of Playboy like she would wedding dresses from Bridal Guide Magazine— if you come across a 12-year-old doing that, I insist you have a very serious conversation with her parents about censorship!
No, instead she’s listening to her older cousin’s latest rendezvous in the back of boyfriend’s car and reading soft porn on the internet. The imagery is all in her head, and for the years before I figured out to delete my browser history after visiting a porn site, it was in mine, too.
My introduction to “the first time” was circa 2005  through fan fiction, where vagina’s are called “warm centers” and guys kiss away tears as the girls hymens break, and I have to admit that it’s probably still leaving an impression on what I think my first time is going to be like.
Romanticized. That’s what my friends call it. My idea of my first time is romanticized because I want my guy to take a little care rather than shove it in and bust a quick nut. Yeah, it’s probably going to be a little awkward, might hurt a little, and we probably won’t climax at the same time while calling each other’s names as we do it like they do in fan fiction (God, I hope not!), but it will be beautiful goddamnit!
My friends may have made a wrong turn down the yellow brick road to Deflowering Wonderland, but I’m still going to keep on trekking it. Shit, it’s not my fault their first times sucked.
Check out previous Virgin Diaries here.

Tumblr Takes Back the Night
Tumblr Takes Back the Night
  • 10614935101348454