There are some things that your high school sex ed classes probably skipped (or, if you’re from certain states, all of the things might have been skipped). There are a ton of resources online to answer the questions you might be too embarrassed to ask your gynecologist (pro-tip: get over that embarrassment as soon as possible), but here are a few broad tips you need to know before your sex life gets collegiate.
1. You can say no at any time.
He will not get blue balls, but honestly, it doesn’t matter if he got green and purple polka dot balls. The right to say no doesn’t go anywhere after you’ve gotten undressed or gotten in bed. Likewise, if your partner tells you to stop, it’s time to stop-immediately.
2. If he was a jerk before, he’s probably going to be a jerk afterwards.
Sex is never going to fix their attitude problem or how they treat you.
3. Do not DIY lube.
Vaseline and other slippery substances can break-down the latex in a condom (read: not good). Get the real stuff.
4. Agreeing to sex does not mean you’re agreeing to everything.
Even if you and your partner have mutually reached the decision that things are about to get sexy, that doesn’t mean you’ve given them sole power over deciding exactly how sexy things get. If they decide to throw in an experiment you’re not comfortable, say so.
5. If your partner doesn’t want to talk about protection, they’re not ready to have sex with you.
You might not need to have a lengthy discussion on STD status for a hook-up, but if they brush off the condom question, they’re not worth it. And if they talk about standing up as a form of birth control, then you’ll just have something to laugh with your next, fully prepared partner.
6. You can bring the condoms.
Guys can forget stuff, and sometimes that means they forget to bring protection. Running to CVS could kill the mood, so if you think you might be having sex, you should pack your own insurance.
7. Go to YouTube for sex advice, not PornHub.
8. The more comfortable you are in the situation, the more you’ll enjoy yourself.
Whether that means keeping your shirt on, getting under the covers or triple checking to make sure you locked the door.
9. You can have sex on your period.
It can be a little messier, but he will not turn into a shark and neither of you will be eaten by sharks. In fact, no sharks are involved at all.
10. You can skip it all together.
If you want to have safe, consensual sex every night for the entire semester and twice a day on spring break, have at it. But you can have a full college experience without every needing to put a sock on the door. Promise.