The Uncensored Timeline of Studying for Finals

We all start finals with the best of intentions. Color-coded study schedule in hand, we head off to the library thinking we’ll be the most productive we’ve been all semester. Kudos to you if this actually describes your study experience, but for the rest of us? We’re stuck wishing our finals covered the ancient art of procrastination. Read on for the real description of how our perfectly planned study days actually go down:
8:OOam—What possessed me to think that I was ever going to be able to get up this early? I could totally hit the snooze button a time or two and still make it to the library in time to find a prime study spot.
Snooze Button on Life
8:47am—To shower or not to shower? I’m sure everyone else is too hungover to study, so it doesn’t really matter if last night’s eye shadow is smudged on my forehead and my hair looks a little more 90’s grunge than study-chic.
10:05 am—After 15 minutes of aimlessly wandering around the library looking for somewhere to sit I’ve now spilled coffee on my white sweatshirt multiple times and endured awkward run-ins with every boy I’ve ever met. At least I found somewhere to study.
11:00am—I now have a near encyclopedic knowledge of every guest star to appear on American Horror Story (thanks, IMDB) and am well-versed in the upcoming new releases on Netflix. Still no progress on those 200 pages of reading or the massive stack of blank flash cards.
Stacks of Books
11:11am—Wishing for productivity.
1:00pm—If I read 20 pages every hour that means I’ll only have to stay in this hell-hole for 10 hours, right?
1:01pm—Finally acknowledge that not only do I have 200 pages of reading, I’ve got a cumulative final, group project and a test to study for. Probably time to stop obsessively checking food Instagrams and actually be a productive member of society.
3:30pm—Whoever invented the Do Not Disturb setting deserves some kind of award (or at least free drinks at college bars for life).
4:15pm—Definitely time for a study-snack. I think we can all collectively agree that calories don’t count during finals, so a chocolate bar and latte made with 2% milk it is.
No Food in Library
6:15pm—Just starting to accept that socialization is a thing of the past. At least I have the mouth-breather sitting next to me as a reminder that there still is life on Earth.
8:04pm—Time to wander around the library aimlessly for a little while.
9:09pm—Back to business. It doesn’t matter if I have to turn off my phone and throw my computer out the window, I’m finishing these last 50 pages of reading and going through all my notes for my test so I can go home at a normal hour.
9:30pm—UPDATE: the only reading I’ve done is the recap of the episode of Modern Family I just missed. And as far as going over my notes goes? Just as bad unless you categorize obsessively checking the reviews of wine on Amazon as studying for life.
11:00pm—It’s socially acceptable to order pizza to the library, right?
1:01am— Pretty sure my hair hasn’t looked this bad since my driver’s permit photo and I’m now 100% sure that I smell like pizza. Time to call it a night and start all over tomorrow.
Driver's License Photo
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