A Timeline of the Ups & Downs of Syllabus Week

Syllabus week is arguably the best and worst week of the semester. A test of your strength of character, endurance and willingness to stand at a crowded bar for hours on end, this week is not for the faint of heart.
For those of you brave enough to accept the challenge, here’s a timeline of the ups and downs that inevitably come with the first week of classes (thankfully it only happens twice a year):

 Monday 10:00 AM

Syllabus Week Timeline
So you actually made it your first class of the semester — congrats! But while you’re sitting there feeling academic, you’re left to ponder some serious questions. Why is the professor actually teaching on the first day of class? Why do they think it’s acceptable to assign work? Why is everyone I’ve ever hooked up with magically in this class?

Monday 3:00 PM

CRUCIAL UPDATE: legitimately every ex-boyfriend, crush, and DFMO is in your classes. Group projects are bound to be a joy.

Monday 6:00 PM

Syllabus Week Timeline
You actually take a look at the million pieces of paper your professors handed to you throughout the day. What is this with having every important test right after my beach trip? Pretty sure knowing the ratios for a perfect strawberry margarita isn’t going to help with calculus.

 Tuesday 8:00 AM

Remember that box of wine you and your friends split while complaining about classes? Not the greatest idea. Your tolerance has definitely gone down over break.

Tuesday 9:00 PM

Syllabus Week Timeline
Pregame music blaring and disgusting mixed drink (complete with cheap vodka and flat soda) in hand, you’re ready for the only week of the semester that you can reasonably justify going out every night of the week.

Wednesday 2:00 AM

Your bathroom floor missed you over break.

Wednesday 9:00 PM

Syllabus Week Timeline
This week should be considered an Olympic sport. Only the strong survive syllabus week and you’re committed not to waste this homework-free bliss.

Thursday 10:00 AM

Your professor calls on you to recap the reading. This would be a great moment to impress them but that would require that you actually purchased the book in the first place. It was on your to-do list—just a little bellow “buy wine” and “accept that I’m actually going to have to set foot in the library this semester.”

Thursday 9:00 PM

Syllabus Week Timeline
Your bed and The Bachelor may be calling your name but you’re determined not to break your streak. You know you’ll be happy you went out when you’re stuck in the library 24/7 during midterms.

Friday 11:00 AM

I would do terrible, terrible things to get to the front of the bookstore line. Why did everyone all of the sudden start to care about school the same moment that I did?

Friday 9:00 PM

Syllabus Week Timeline
Thankfully this week only happens once a semester.
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John Oliver Auditions for Fifty Shades of Grey
John Oliver Auditions for Fifty Shades of Grey
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