Whether we admit it or not, we all spend a little too much time stalking our Instagram feed and put just a tad (okay more than a tad) bit of effort into picking the perfect filter (every girl has her favorite). With all this time and effort comes a refined sense of what differentiates the original from the painfully overdone.
For those of you new to the Insta game (or for those experts looking to break out of your normal routine of puppy photos and motivational sunsets) here’s the breakdown of the 7 most likely photos to pop up on your feed:
1. “I am too drunk to be anywhere near social media.”
Drunk eyes and a misspelled caption are the tell tale signs of this Insta. Bonus points if you accidentally tagged the wrong person (most likely your ex or your mortal enemy). The ability to edit on Insta now is a savior for the drunk ‘grammer.
2. “I ate this for the Insta.”
My personal favorite, this one involved enormous, delicious-looking portions of food that would put the pitiful meal you cooked for yourself to shame. Calories are of no consequence when it comes to taking a picture of the cheesiest, carb-iest, most decadent meal you can get your hands on. No one has to know if you didn’t actually eat it…
3. “My dog is my bestie.”
Hands down, the cutest part of a college girls Instagram is the cuddly puppy pic. You’d have to be pretty cold hearted to resist hearting this one.
4. “My family is cuter than yours is.”
This one most commonly manifests itself as a #TBT. Similar to the aforementioned puppy photos, this is a shameless ploy to use cute babies and adorable grandparents to rack up the likes.
5. “I go to the greatest school in the country (and maybe the world).”
Whether it’s Mardi Gras in New Orleans or St. Patrick’s Day in Boston, we all deserve to show off our school pride a little bit. The moment this one shows up on your feed you’re equal parts bitter and motivated to splurge on a plane ticket to visit your friend ASAP.
6. “You wish you were on this vacation.”
Given the fact that we spend the vast majority of our time in class, the library, or sprawled out on our couch, it’s natural to want to brag a little anytime you leave your natural habitat. This one can either be epically cool (hiking Machu Picchu or playing with dolphins) or especially lame (think a generic sunset awkwardly paired with a bad filter and ~motivational~ quote).
7. “How badly can I embarrass my friend on her birthday?”
It’s a college girl right of passage to be completely mortified on her birthday with every drunk selfie, awkward snapchat, and chubby baby picture. Take it as a sign of the strength of your friendship—it’ll ease the sting of embarrassment that comes with seeing yourself in various compromising positions.