Fraternity houses are where all your classic college ragers happen. They can be fun, but they come with a price. In fact, they come with many; like discomfort, obscenity, obnoxiousness, and drama. We love them, but at the time (especially if you’re clear-headed), we can hate them.
Frats – or as die-hard brothers would correct me, “fraternities” – embody the ultimate college scene. In turn, they create some of your ultimate college parties.
I have to pregame. There is no way I’m walking into that filthy, sweltering house sober. I do not want to see you-know-who sober, because that sounds like the most awkward encounter.
Alright, I’m here. What’s next? Ah yes – beer flying around, and girls wearing almost nothing, the clear mark of a freshman.
WOW, IT IS HOT AS SHIT IN HERE. There are too many people. Maybe this was a bad idea.
Say hi to everyone you even somewhat know just to pass the time.
Okay, if I’m going to keep being this social I need more drinks. AKA – I need more of whatever that potent liquid is in that garbage bin.
Oh, would you look at that – my shoes are covered in dirt and alcohol. Delightful.
I really want to talk to [frat boy, name redacted] before we go.
~Grab your designated wingman and go to bathroom~
Listen, we have a mission.
Meanwhile, you notice that the bathroom lacks soap, toilet paper, and has empty Red Solo cups all over the sink.
When are we leaving? Right, once the alcohol’s gone, and the crowd starts to spill out.
Ew, [frat boy] is going hard with some chick on the couch. Abort mission.
Maybe it’s time to go… I feel like it’s starting to get weird.
Your friend begs you to stay so she can talk to a guy.
Fine, I’ll stay with you so you can talk to him; but I’ll be posted right where I belong – next to the hot pledge working the keg.
That’s it. I’m done. I have sweat in all the wrong places and I haven’t even gotten close to talking to [frat boy].
I did succeed in smelling like smoke and beer though. Gotta love that after-frat-house smell.