College is a time to achieve goals. It’s also four years of drunken hookups and crazy, experimental sex. Why not combine the two? Keep this little “to do” list of dirty deeds to check off to ensure the best years of your life.
1. Hook up with a TA.
Bonus points for a professor, but a TA is usually a hard, but definitely not impossible, challenge. Just stay for some extra help a few times.
2. Have sex in the library.
The perfect study break, am I wrong? Unless it is finals week, there are plenty of deserted areas—I promise no one will be camping out in Medieval Literature section (and if they are…they could probably use a little spice in their life).
3. Take the walk of shame across campus in your clothes from last night.
Just pray it doesn’t happen after a toga party.
4. Hook up with the star of a sports team.
When they become a professional athlete, you get to brag that you banged them in your dorm room!
5. Play strip poker/other game as foreplay.
Any game including the word “strip” will undoubtedly end in a hot story that you’ll be texting your friends about the next morning.
6. Have sex in the middle of a crowded party.
There’s nothing more exhilarating than slipping away from the crowd for a quickie. Finding a secluded spot, hoping not to get caught, and returning to the party as if nothing happened will have you feeling like a boss the rest of the night.
7. Hook up with someone you just met.
What was his name again?
8. Send naked pictures.
You’re never going to look better than you do now. Just be sure the evidence gets deleted (or use SnapChat…I’m pretty sure that’s what it was made for anyway).
9. Hook up with a visiting friend.
Spending the night with a friend’s friend from another school means all the fun of a random hookup with zero chance of awkwardly running into him at the dining hall the next day.