Crazy Reddit Thread Reveals Celeb Sex Isn’t Too Hard To Come By

If you’re trying to make it through the last few hours of work, enjoy wasting some time on this hilarious Reddit thread. A user asked, “Girls who have slept with rock stars; How was it? What was you perception of the person afterwards? What did your friends and family think (if you told them)? etc.” and the results will make you wonder why you’ve never been able to bang a celeb. Are these people just using their anonymous Reddit presence to tell some tall tales? Maybe, there’s no way to know for sure, but true or not, they’re severely entertaining. Check out some of the best responses.

John Mayer

TheLonelyScientist: “A girl I knew in college “slept” with John Mayer after the Concert for Virgina Tech. I say “slept” because he had her lie on the bed, then he jacked off on her. Then he just left.”

Obviously not trying to have any “Daughters” out of that encounter.

Justin Bieber

mollym00n: “Summer of 2013 my friends and I met Justin Bieber at Muzik Nightclub in Toronto. One of my friends ended up leaving with Justin and his boys to go back to The Hazelton (hotel). She ended up sleeping with Justin and and multiple boys from his crew. There was like 5 girls there and they made them all sign contracts and took away their cellphones. He referred to himself as JB and made everyone sit around and listen to him sing for like an hour while he continuously smoked a shit ton of weed. Too funny.”

So Biebs was holding her hostage and torturing her by making her listen to him sing?

Lil Wayne

Werdnamik: “One of my ex girlfriends roommates slept with Lil Wayne back in college after a show in D.C. When he had finished, he threw a hundred dollar bill at her and kicked her off the tour bus.”

She shouldn’t have expected anything less from someone who has Money Over Bitches tattooed on his chest.

LMFAO

iiSisterFister: “Haha. A girl in my city fucked LMFAO…yes both of them.. LMFAO are uncle and nephew. She said she wokeup with a free t-shirt and they had paid for her breakfast.”

“I had an incestual threesome and all I got was this lousy T-shirt.”

Calvin Harris

Chocolate_Slug:: “One of my good girlfriends slept with Calvin Harris. He still sends her text videos of him helicoptering his horse cock in the mirror.”

Now we know how he landed Taylor Swift?

Jared Leto

Therughasbeenyanked: “I slept with Jared Leto on one of 30stm’ s last tour. It hasn’t changed my perception at all. I still think he’s a fucking god. Yes, it’s fucking huge. It was definitely some of the roughest I’ve had. Lots of hair pulling, choking, slapping, etc. (I had been pretty vanilla before then, but this opened up a whole new world to me)”

We knew it was huge. We knew it.

Will.I.Am

NuQ: “Friend of mine slept with Will I Am from the blackeyed peas. She wouldn’t shut up about it for months. I was reading a rolling stone interview with the group and the interviewer asked something like ‘I heard you were at the sundance film festival this year, what did you guys do while you were there?’ the response was comical: ‘Bought several boxes of condoms and used every single one.’ we stopped hearing about her trophy sex after that.”

Plot twist: They only used a few of the condoms for sex, used the vast majority for a water-balloon fight.

Flavor Flav

Kristyyyyyyy: “Ok not even a throwaway… I fucked Flavor Flav in a seedy toilet room out the back of the ANU Refectory Bar in 1998. I’m not proud. I try not to tell people. But on the bright side, I didn’t get gonorrhoea.”

Did he wear a giant clock during sex?! Come on, Kristy. We need details.

Usher

Blktoofpirate: “Back in like middle school (so 2003-4ish) my friend’s mom slept with Usher. I guess he was genuinely a nice dude, bought her champagne, dinner; he even paid for her cab ride home. We were kids so obviously she didn’t say how the sex was, but it made me think he wasn’t a total jerk at least.”

Kanye West? Is that you? (My best friend(‘s mom) says she use to f*ck with Usher”)

Lance Bass

M0XNIX: “My sister briefly dated (and thus slept with) Lance Bass from NSYNC at what would have been the height of NSYNC fan girl mania.”

Is she the reason he switched teams?

Nick Carter

aussam: “One of my mates sister’s slept with Nick Carter from the Backstreet Boys a couple times. Apparently he’s an alright dude ie. didn’t just smash her and that’s it. He kept in contact with her etc.. No idea how large his dick is, or whether he’s decent in the sack.. sorry.”

This was my dream before I even knew was sex was.

Jack White

dolphin_puncher: “I used to be friends with someone who slept with Jack White. She said she had a good time and he gave her some signed memorabilia items. It sounds like he was nice to her.”

Sleep with me and I’ll get you some swag.

 

[Story via Cosmopolitan]

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