10 Things You Should Never Say To An English Major

If you know any English majors, just don’t drop any of these phrases around them. Just don’t, seriously. They’ll just tell you off more eloquently than you could ever imagine (after correcting your grammar, of course.)

1. So what do you plan to do with that degree?

I don’t know, what do you plan on doing with your chemistry degree? Be a….chemist?

2. You took the easy way out, huh?

No. The stack of 800-page literature in my dorm says otherwise.

3. Do you think you did good on that essay test?

No, but I do think I did WELL on it.

4. I really hate people who correct my grammar.

Okay, so improve it and then people won’t have to do that anymore, chump.

5. So you basically major in the language we speak every day?


6. Why would ever choose to do that?

Why would you ever choose to say that?

7. So you plan on making very little money?

Maybe I do. Then again, maybe I’m going to use this degree to become a lawyer or a professor or something equally badass.

8. So you have a trust fund?

Let me introduce you to my friend, Nonya. Nonya Business.angry

9. Why didn’t you major in something real?

Why don’t you come write my 2,500 word paper with me and then try to tell me my major isn’t real?

10. You’re going to regret your major one day.

I’ll worry about that if and when that happens, k?

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