We're Crowning This Dude Who Used Puppies To Smuggle Drugs The Worst Person Alive

People have gotten pretty creative when it comes to smuggling drugs. Case in point? One Honduran woman who hid cocaine in her breast implants was recently busted (pun intended) in Columbia. That’s extreme, but at least she was the one at risk. Today we heard about a Venezuelan veterinarian who was smuggling heroin into the United State using PUPPIES. Beautiful, innocent, precious puppies.

The Associated Press reports that Andrés Lopez Elorza’s animal clinic in Colombia was first raided by police back in 2005, and they discovered at least 3 kilograms of heroin implanted in three different Rottweiler and Labrador puppies. Officials argue that he was part of a drug-trafficking gang that used dogs to funnel liquid heroin into the U.S. from Colombia, and according to the BBC, the puppies were labeled as pets so as to avoid suspicion from Customs officials.

We’re not 100% sure how Lopez Elorza “implanted” these dogs with drugs, but we do know that we’re beyond pissed about it.

Lopez Elorza, 33, was arrested in Spain in 2013 (no one seems to know what happened to him between 2005 and 2013), though he was released while awaiting extradition to the U.S., and reportedly disappeared until he was arrested Saturday in the Spanish town of Santa Comba, where a Spanish Civil Guard spokesperson said he had been living and working for the past eight years.

Have fun in the slammer, jerk. If those puppies need a new home, call us.

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