I’m pretty sure that at one point or another, everyone has worked a retail job. Sure, the employee discount sounds enticing at first, until you realize you have to deal with selfish screaming assholes all day. Is that dress really worth the extra 20% off when you just got called you a raging c*nt?
1. Crap. I’m late again.
2. Oh well, that just means a few less minutes of work today.
3. Unless someone decides to come in at 9:29 when we close at 9:30!
4. It’s going to happen. Always does. Might as well prepare for it now.
5. SOMEONE PLEASE REMIND ME WHY I APPLIED FOR THIS AGAIN.
6. Someone? Anyone?
7. No one knows. Okay.
8. I can think of so many other places I’d rather be right now.
9. Literally anywhere.
10. It is Saturday, after all.
11. No lady, I don’t know where the cookware is. I sell women’s shoes.
12. Does it look like I speak Spanish?
13. Although you’d think I’d be able to by now. I only took it since second grade.
14. SECOND GRADE.
15. Or a total of 11 damn years.
16. But I digress.
17. Oh, that’s fine. You don’t need to answer me when I ask how you are.
18. I don’t really care anyway, tbh.
19. Yes, that’s the price. No, you don’t get an extra discount.
20. Does no one know how to parent anymore? There’s a child climbing a shelf rn.
21. How is that okay?
22. I’m not a babysitter too.
23. They’d have to pay me WAY more than minimum wage for that sh*t.
24. In fact, they should be paying me WAY more than minimum wage for this current sh*t.
25. If people live the way they treat the store, I have no hope for humanity.
26. F*cking slobs.
27. Don’t worry, I’ll clean up your giant mess.
28. I have absolutely nothing better to do.
29. Did I really just work with you for over an hour and you’re putting something on hold?!
30. Yeah, they’re never coming back.
31. In fact, if they know what’s good for them, they’ll never be back. Ever.
32. I’d lose it.
33. And then get dragged out of the store by police and told never to come back again myself.
34. On second thought…that’s not such a bad idea.
