A Realistic Timeline Of Wearing Heels During A Night Out

 

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Shout out to all the ladies out there who would rather just stay in than go out when wearing flats (or worse, flip flops. Or even worse, sneakers.) I feel you girls. And because I feel you, I’ve decided to put the thoughts of fearless stiletto-sporting ladies everywhere into words. Behold – a timeline of what goes through your head on a night that you decide to break out those new five-inchers.

9:00 pm: The dilemma.

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What dress would look better with those new cute strappy heels I bought last week? The short black dress? Or the really short black dress?

 

9:15 pm: The decision.

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Oh, who am I kidding? Everyone knows the answer to that question is “the really short black dress.”

 

9:30 pm: The full look.

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Wait. These heels make this dress look next level. Look at my LEGS!

 

9:45 pm: The break in.

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Oh, yaknow, just listening to Pitbul while strutting around my room in the new heels. They like, barely hurt.

 

10:00 pm: The pregame.

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My roommate made me take off my heels for the pregame because apparently I need to save my feet for when we’re actually out. What does she know?

 

10:45 pm: The exit.

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Everyone is ready to leave but I’m staring at myself in the mirror because my whole outfit looks so good. I look hot. My legs are amazing.

 

11:00 pm: The entrance.

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I feel so tall. And confident. Heels make me feel confident.

 

 

11:30 am: The dance floor.

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I’m really good at dancing in heels. Just as long as I don’t move my feet, but it’s cool. I look great bouncing up and down and moving my arms around.

 

12:00 am: The dance off.

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How is that girl able to move her feet so fast? Oh. It’s because she’s barefoot. Gross.

 

12:30 am: The pain.

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If my roommate asks I’m going to lie but….my feet are starting to hurt.

 

1:00 am: The extreme pain.

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WHY ARE THERE NO OPEN SEATS AT THIS BAR? I JUST WANT TO SIT.

 

1:30 am: the agony.

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Like…how dirty is this floor? If I take off my shoes will I catch some sort of disease?

 

1:45 am: The surrender.

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I’m barefoot and I’ve never been happier.

 

2:00 am: The exit.

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UGGGGHHHH I have to put my shoes back on so we can walk out of here. THE PAINNNNN.

 

2:05 am: The fall.

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Well, that was embarrassing. Next weekend, I’m wearing flats.

 

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