As with any social media platform that has been around for a while, there has been a silent understanding and agreement of most Instagram users of certain etiquette to follow if you don’t want to annoy your followers. But as with any social media platform, or just life in general for that matter, theirs is always that asshole.
This is America. It’s a free country. You have the right to post whatever kind of Instagrams you want, and behave on Instagram however you see fit. But just because you have the right, doesn’t mean you should exercise it.
You see, although your Instagram account is technically yours… what you post, how many hashtags you use in your captions, etc… these things affect your followers. You want to spend the majority of your time taking bathroom selfies and see how different your face looks using a myriad of different filters? That’s okay—but don’t assume we want to see you doing it too.
Below are some of the most annoying things Instagram users can do.
1. Hashtag overload
The idea of the hashtag was for people to categorize their pictures under a certain category, and to be able to use that tag to find photos similar to their own. So, let me ask you something, person who just used 15+ hashtags on a photo of a green smoothie, who else in this world is certain for a tag titled “#tryingtobehealthyagainbutprobwontlast”? I’ll tell you who: NO ONE. Cut the shit. All you’re doing is making us have to decipher what word in that hashtag ends where and where it begins another one. There is no method to your madness.
2. Commenting but not liking
I’ll be the first person to rant about how our generation and society cares way too much about how many “likes” a photo gets, and that we place an irrational importance on something that has no meaning. Having said that, if you comment on my picture without liking it, you are a jerk and you have no soul. Yeah, yeah. I know it’s not a competition. But you’re already on the picture. You are already taking time out of your day to comment, usually something rude or not funny, so why not just tap the heart button while you’re there?
(Also, on this note of commenting, if you comment something wildly inappropriate or profane, even as a joke, you are also a jerk, because you should be courteous of how many family members are probably viewing this picture, and Becky probably doesn’t need you saying “hahaha this reminds me of the time you blacked out on Spring Break” on a picture of her sipping a margarita with her cousin on the beach. Ya know?)
Stop. Just stop. Literally the only way or time I care about someone showing me what they are eating is if they are offering me a bite. I can’t bite your food through the phone, so stop showing it to me. Especially when ti looks like sh*t. If it is a gourmet meal or something really unique and cool, which, let’s be serious, what food can be THAT fascinating, maybe you can. But your smoothie? No. we don’t care about that and we don’t care that you’re trying to be healthy, or at least appear healthy, and I definitely don’t care about your In-N-Out burger because LA is really far from me and I can’t get it myself so I’d prefer you not shoving yours in my face via your phone.
4. BAE bragging
You’re in love? What’s it like? Never mind, I don’t need to ask, because you’re showing me and everyone else on your follower list every damn day by posting every goddamn thing you guys do together. We get it, you’re in love. You have a great life. You aren’t going to die alone like some people, cough me, but let’s be real, you’re going to get married some day and THAT is the weekend that is allotted to shove it in people’s face and make them nauseous, jealous and infuriated and drunk all at the same time. Not now. Not on Instagram. Not up in here.
5. Only selfies
Go to your Instagram account right now. Go to your profile. Take a quick scroll through the pictures. If 75% or more of the pictures looking back at you are of your own face, delete your account immediately. You’ll be doing everyone a favor.